Kick It

The morning alarm didn’t ring. I woke up a good 90 minutes after I was supposed to, and I simply didn’t want to go to school. My mother came in and insisted, despite my pleas to stay home.
By the time I got there I had already missed the first two classes, and of course I didn’t do the homework. The teacher just went on and on like some holier than thou preacher at me, in front of the whole
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Constructive Heckles

“You’re stepping on your laughs! Take a few beats before you start the next joke!”
“You kind of spoiled the punch line there by saying that same word in your premise! Change it!”
“We don’t care if that’s a new joke. Just think about why it didn’t work and try again another way!”
“Put that mic stand behind you. You’re the star of this show, not the stand!”
“That’s LITERALLY not what LITERALLY means!”
“We just gave it up for
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Robert Berry Comedian Bio

Robert Berry is a sinisterly clever comedian with jokes that dance between dark silliness to I can’t believe he said that absurdity. After an elderly gent told him after a show, “That was the best dead baby joke I’ve ever heard in my whole life”, Robert knew he was in the big leagues. Robert has performed in clubs and colleges all over globe’s Sacramento region. He’s opened for several talented headliners who had no say whatsoever in his booking and … read more

Long Time, No See!

Hey! Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here, but we can change that now, right? I’ve been having a good time just enjoying life lately. Stand Up comedy is still a big part of my life, and I’m performing frequently around Northern California.  Here’s a link to a fun set I did in December at the San Francisco Punch Line that you might enjoy.

Anyway, I’m going to commit to writing a little something on here every … read more

Swamp Makes You Think

Swamp Thing Painting

I started painting with acrylics recently. I’ve always drawn with pen and pencil mediums but aside from some watercolor in my youth I never painted much. I don’t know much of what I’m doing yet but I really like the textures and colors of a few of my first tries.

This one is inspired by the old Berni Wrightson Swamp Thing from “House of Secrets” #92. I posted this on LinkedIn and a friend of mine mentioned that it reminded … read more

Norm Macdonald Will Be Missed


photo of me meeting Norm years ago

Yesterday’s death of Norm Macdonald hit me pretty hard. He’s easily my favorite comedian of all time, and maybe one of the funniest people to have ever done the job. I loved him before I was a comedian and loved him even more once I became one. His joke writing was equal parts silly and brutal. He wasn’t afraid to tell a dumb joke, but would deliver it with an equaled sincerity that … read more

Messing with Scammers on The Phone

SCAMMER: “I am with the IRS and we have suspended your Social Security Number due to traces of fraudulent activity and will be sending the cops to your house unless you give us information to fix this.”
ME: “Oh no…what do I need to do?”
SCAMMER: “Please verify your name and birthday first?”
ME: “Or the cops will come to my house?”
SCAMMER: “Yes, the cops will come to your house.”
ME: “Actually, send them over. I’ll wait on the
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Midnight Movies

Once I saw The Shining at a midnight movie and the crowd was so rowdy and drunk they were cheering for Jack Nicholson. Then I came back for a Star Wars midnight movie and they were cheering for Darth Vader. Then next week for a Woody Allen movie and they cheered for Woody Allen.… read more