THE HOBBIT: DESOLATION OF SMAUG
At the end of the 2nd of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, it's clear that there was not three movies worth of story from this book. It's an indulgent overblown trilogy that could have been told in one or two. It's a movie without any soul. Does the story of a dwarf king looking to regain his throne is something I don't care about, or can I identify with any of the characters at all. At least Frodo felt like a mortal pushing himself to the limits in the Lord of the Rings films. Bilbo's just along for the ride, using magic items he's found more than his own wits to get by.
Did you like the giant spider fight in Lord of the Rings? You'll more of that in this installment. And there's plenty of the panoramic scenes of them running in single file, and shitty CGI monster fights to delight you if you want more of that.
The big reveal of the dragon is extremely disappointing. The animation looks worse than the dinos from Peter Jackson's King Kong film, and ultimately looks like something from a video game. The beast from the old '80s film Dragonslayer was frankly more menacing than this creature, voiced by Sherlock Holmes' star Benedict Cumberbatch.
There's a wonderfully fun sequence that features the characters floating down rapids in barrels while chased by an army of Orcs and Elves. But it's about the only truly great piece in the whole movie.
I hated that there were too many sequences of Bilbo putting on "THE RING" where everything turns blurry, which makes you want to take your 3D glasses off and throw them at the screen.
I also hated that a woman sat behind me laughing like a broken donkey at every damn thing that happened, while she explained over and over again that, "Legolas was not in the book, you know" to her unfortunate boyfriend.
Bleh...just a boring lame movie, and I loved everything Jackson's directed so far. Swing and miss!
DECEMBER LIVE SHOWS!
We've got two great retroCRUSH Shows in one weekend this December 14th and 15th in Sacramento! First up on Saturday the 14th, we've got The RETROCRUSH Comedy Spot XMAS Show with the great stand-up comedy of Michael Patten, Momma C, Patrick Desmond, and Jessica Wellington. My co-host Ben Rice and I have something horrific rolled up our sleeves that certain to make history! CLICK HERE for the event link!
Next up, on Saturday we have the Burlesque, Comedy, and Music amazement of our return show to the fantastic Blue Lamp on Alhambra Blvd! The burlesque beauties from The Bodacious Bombshells return, with comedy from Jimmy Earll, Alfonso Portela, Carlos Rodrigues, Eloisa Bravo, Michael Cella, and Ben Rice. We'll also be treated to the singing sensation magic of Katori Knight and Busti Biscotti. Hosted by yours truly as well. CLICK HERE for the event link! It'd be great to see you there!
I took a screen capture of this from my iPhone. Unfortunate way to truncate a headline, eh?