THE BIGGEST FAST FOOD MISTAKES!
Robert Berry webmaster@retrocrush.com

FAST FOOD FIASCOS
The Biggest Failures and Flops in Fast Food History

Though Big Macs and drive through windows have proven to be eternally successful staples of fast food, there have been many embarrassing and disgraceful chapters for fast food that deserve remembrance.  retroCRUSH is proud to present the 5 worst moments in fast food history.

#5 McDonald's Arch Deluxe Sandwich

Marketed as a sandwich that kids would hate but adults would love, McDonald's Arch Deluxe turned out to be little more than a burger with dijon mustard and a fancy bun.  Despite catchy ads like the one above of a kid licking a free coupon (???), the sandwich failed to win over the average American, who was just as happy buying 39 cent hamburgers.

#4 Domino's 30 Minutes or Less Delivery Policy

It seemed like a good idea on paper.  Domino's could sell their crappy pizza like crazy with the claim, "You'll get it within 30 minutes, or it's free!"  Drivers were fined $3 if it ever happened, so you can imagine the intense pressure to drive like a madman and get them there on time.  After a St. Louis jury awarded a woman $78 Million for near fatal injuries suffered at the hands of an overzealous Domino's driver, the plan was soon scrapped.

#3 Jack In The Box E-Coli Outbreaks

After a young boy died in 1993 from eating a tainted burger from Jack in the Box, and several other folks suffered severe organ damage, the fast food chain suffered a massive financial blow.  I'd rank this #1, however the company managed to do a complete turnaround by bringing back a Vengeful Jack, who was pissed for being blown up in the late 70s, and took no prisoners when he returned as the company's spokesperson.

#2 The Shamrock Shake

Quite possibly the most evil concoction ever created by a human being.  This frozen green cup of mint flavored leprechaun jism was brought out every St. Patrick's Day for unsuspecting schmucks who didn't learn from last year.  Luckily it's been "retired" for nearly 10 years, but there's actually people TRYING TO BRING IT BACK! (from whence the picture of Uncle O'Grimacy above was swiped).

#1 Burger King's "Herb"

Advertising Age called Burger King's "Herb" campaign "the most elaborate advertising flop of all time."  It started out funny enough in 1986, when the narrator bragged that everyone in the country has enjoyed a Whopper, except the mysterious "Herb".  His parents were ashamed, his teachers were shocked.  Who wouldn't like a Whopper?  Only Burger King didn't know when to quit.  They decided to reveal Herb to the world and gave away thousands if you happened to see Herb in one of their restaurants.  And for some reason, they even felt the need to have him be a timekeeper at Wrestlemania 2 (pictured above).

-Robert
webmaster@retrocrush.com