THE 100 MOST
ANNOYING THINGS of 2002

Well, it's time again to look at the most irritating things of the previous year.  This was certainly a tougher year than most, with no shortage of aggravating people and incidents to choose from, but I hope you're happy with the result!

100 Celine Dion it's bad enough that she looks like a creature from The Dark Crystal, and sings like some sort of helium huffing harpy, but to release a CD with special copy protection that crashed your computer when you played it was just insane.  Of course the sweet justice of overcoming the multi-million dollar anti-piracy technology by drawing a line on it with a black marker was wonderful.

 

99 John Edward phony psychic cons millions with his "talk to dead people" show "Crossing Over".  I wish he'd cross over into the opposing lane of traffic so he could talk to those dead people up close.
98 Moussaoi the accused terrorist involved with the 9/11 attacks is having a surprisingly tough time with his "America is the great Satan, death to all" defense

 

97 Corporate Bankruptcy yeah, nothing's more fair in the marketplace than a multi-billion company, who cooks their books, declares bankruptcy, then gets to return to the marketplace and compete against their rivals with no debt!  Say goodbye to responsibility.

 

96 Shii Ann Huang this Survivor 5 participant turned out to be one of the most annoying people to ever be on TV.  Blamed other tribe members problems with her on racism, discounting the fact that she was simply an irritating bitch.
95 Star Jones well, now we know what happened to the Mom on "Good Times"
94 Attack of the Clones George Lucas continues to under whelm with this 2 hour toy commercial that had to resort to a light saber duel with Yoda to get people to buy a ticket.  You know the movie sucks when you're hoping for more Jar Jar Binks scenes.

 

93 Liam Gallagher quite possibly the most boorish man to ever walk the earth.  Though his group, Oasis, hasn't had a hit in years, he still behaves as if he's bigger than The Beatles.  After brawling in a German hotel, the police beat the crap out of him and knocked out his front teeth.  Way to go, Germany!

 

92 Celebrity Boxing maybe I could see the charm in Danny Bonaduce vs. Barry "Greg Brady" Williams, but with matchups like Vanilla Ice vs. Todd Bridges and Horshack vs. Screech, the word "celebrity" has never been so misused.  At least we got a peak at Tonya Harding's awful new breast implants.

 

91 Avril Lavigne it's bad enough she can't even spell "April Lavine", but releasing a song called "Sk8er Boi" is just the last straw.  I thought we'd seen the last of that sort of stuff when Prince stopped having hits.  
90 Rising CD Prices yeah, what better way to combat music piracy?  Just make new CDs nearly $20.00 now!  And they wonder why sales keep declining.
89 North Korea it's bad enough they're flexing their nuclear muscle, but the thought of a new version of M*A*S*H* is scarier than Armageddon!  I think we need to send Alan Alda over there to bore them into surrender.
88 The World Cup yup, for another month you get to hear all the soccer fans in America preach on and on about how soccer is more popular than ever and is going to be our new national pastime, only to have everyone forget about it again for another 4 years, once it's all over.  The Elephant Man scored more times than the average team in these snooze festivals!

 

87 Scott Sullivan WorldCom CFO was allegedly behind nearly $9 BILLION in overstated revenue and other corporate shenanigans that resulted in a stock price worth less than a gumball.
86 Opie and Anthony Hoopla perhaps this radio show duo's prank that involved a sex act being performed in the St. Francis cathedral in New York was going to far, but the church's unified response and outrage was far more quick and vocal than that for the molester priest scandals.

 

85 Madonna  stop....making....movies...please  (and thanks for fucking up Guy Ritchie as a good director, too)
84 Pro Wrestling with ratings at an all time low, the WWE (changed from WWF because the World Wildlife Fund sued them), featured a groundbreaking necrophilia angle complete with holding a handful of brains after some coffin loving while the wrestler shouted, "I screwed her brains out!"  3 words, "Bring Back LaParka!" 

 

83 Phil Donahue his valiant return to talk television was welcomed by a watched by a whopping 4 people, all of which were watching the studio monitors at the time because they were in the production room.

 

82 Christopher Lowell If this guy were any more gay, he'd be married to Liza Minelli.  Kudos are due, however, for bringing the stylish "General Zod" look back to the mainstream.
81 Al Gore spends the year criticizing Bush's every move, only to announce he's not running for President next time.  Of course with all the royalties he gets for inventing the internet, why should he waste his time?
80 David Blaine since when did standing on a pole for 2 days then falling off it become "magic"?  You know it's bad when you'd actually prefer to watch Siegfreid and Roy.
79 The Rally Monkey this unofficial California Angels mascot became infinitely more annoying when he actually worked!  Now we'll have to see this stupid guy for another whole year!
78 Scientology call me crazy, a religion endorsed by Tom Cruise is bad enough, but when you work your way up the system to find out the Earth used to be called "Teegeeack" and was ruled by an evil space alien named "Xenu", I think it's time to switch to something a little less crazy, like Santeria!

 

77 Ellen from Apple's Switch Ads wow!  Get someone even more drugged up and unstable than Steve "The Dell Guy" to push your computers, that's a great advertising plan.
76 Andrew WK with his songs, "It's Time To Party", "Party Hard", "Party 'til You Puke", "Fight for your Right to Party", "Party All The Time", "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To", "Party 2 Electric Boogaloo" and "Party Hard Dance Remix", I think it's safe to say that he likes to party.

 

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