A LOOK AT BREAKDANCING!
Popping and Locking are New Ways of Talking!

    I was about 12 years old  when Break Dancing became popular. I remember a lot of my friends trying to do the Centipede and the Robocop.  Flash forward to my first year in High School and the craze has taken off. In fact there was a group of people that were Break Dancing right in front of my locker ALL the time.

     

    Colin & Venol show you how. Later they did an incredible anal sex book, but that's a whole different article.

    EVERYTIME I tried to open my locker, a Break Dancing fool would end up spinning around on his head and kicking me.  I began hating them and anything that had to do with Break Dancing.  Recently, I came upon this Break Dancing book from 1984 at the local Thrift Store and I thought I'd share a few highlights with you.
     

    You had to make sure you had clear bowels and buns of steel for this dangerous move.


     

    Yes, even retards got in on the dancing craze.



     

    Dunno what he's doing, but in the 80's if you had Geometric shapes floating around you it was cool.



    Curious what groups they did their Break Dancing to in 1984?

    Beatmaster, D.J Chuck Chill-Out, Run D.M.C., Herbie Hancock, Divine, Grand Master & Melle Mel, Awesome Foursome, Fearless Four, The Rapologists, Art of Noise, Afrika Bambaataa & Soul Sonic Force, Egyptian Lover, Keymatic, Trouble Funk, Shalimar, West Street Mob, Malcolm McClaren & the World Famous Supreme Team, and George Kranz.

     

    It's The Safety Dance!

    They don't call it Break Dancing for nothing



    Here's a few of the chapter titles that sound suspiciously like a Bondage & Discipline manual:

    The Wave, The Lock, The Egyptian, Cracking, Humiliation, The Back Float, The Heel Toe Walk, The Side Float, Arm Routines, Leg and Feet Routines, Music, Crew Dancing, Dress like a Breaker, Acobatics, The Headspin, The Backspin, The Windmill, Freeze Positions

     

    Left hand blue

    Here's the move that prevented me from getting to my locker. Sometimes if I got really pissed I'd try to steal their cardboard mat or light it on fire.

    Lookin for some Retroslang? Why not talk like a Breaker:

    Awesome (wow, neat, great)
    Bad (good)
    Bite (steal someone else's move)
    Box (portable casette player with speakers)
    Buggin Out (confused or distracted)
    Burn (beat in a battle)
    Dogs (shoes)
    Fresh (good, original)
    Jam (party)
    Juice (having a special influence over somone)
    Maxin (relaxing)
    Rocking it (dancing with real energy)
    Shalackers (big feet)
    Throwing the base (rapping)
    Wack (opposite of fresh, bad)
    Zar (short haircut).


     

    In recent times this move has been renamed the Christopher Reeve maneuver.

    In the book they claim the mimes Marcel Marceau and Shields and Yarnell influenced Bread Dancing. You haven't felt pain until you're forced to watch videotapes of crappy Mimes in your high school French class. I don't quite see their influence in this picture.


    These days I think the only kind of Breaking I want to do is breakin' wind!

    -retroRANDY!