I was about
12 years old when Break Dancing became popular. I remember a
lot of my friends trying to do the Centipede and the Robocop.
Flash forward to my first year in High School and the craze has
taken off. In fact there was a group of people that were Break
Dancing right in front of my locker ALL the time.
Colin & Venol show you how. Later they
did an incredible anal sex book, but that's a whole different
article.
EVERYTIME I tried to open my locker, a Break Dancing fool would
end up spinning around on his head and kicking me. I began
hating them and anything that had to do with Break Dancing.
Recently, I came upon this Break Dancing book from 1984 at the
local Thrift Store and I thought I'd share a few highlights with
you.
You had to make sure you had clear
bowels and buns of steel for this dangerous move.
Yes, even retards got in on the
dancing craze.
Dunno what he's doing, but in the 80's
if you had Geometric shapes floating around you it was cool.
Curious what groups they did their Break Dancing to in 1984?
Beatmaster, D.J Chuck Chill-Out, Run D.M.C., Herbie Hancock,
Divine, Grand Master & Melle Mel, Awesome Foursome, Fearless Four,
The Rapologists, Art of Noise, Afrika Bambaataa & Soul Sonic
Force, Egyptian Lover, Keymatic, Trouble Funk, Shalimar, West
Street Mob, Malcolm McClaren & the World Famous Supreme Team, and
George Kranz.
It's The Safety Dance!
They don't call it Break Dancing for
nothing
Here's a few of the chapter titles that sound suspiciously like a
Bondage & Discipline manual:
The Wave, The Lock, The Egyptian, Cracking, Humiliation, The Back
Float, The Heel Toe Walk, The Side Float, Arm Routines, Leg and
Feet Routines, Music, Crew Dancing, Dress like a Breaker,
Acobatics, The Headspin, The Backspin, The Windmill, Freeze
Positions
Left hand blue
Here's the move that prevented me from
getting to my locker. Sometimes if I got really pissed I'd try to
steal their cardboard mat or light it on fire.
Lookin for some Retroslang? Why not talk like a Breaker:
Awesome (wow, neat, great)
Bad (good)
Bite (steal someone else's move)
Box (portable casette player with speakers)
Buggin Out (confused or distracted)
Burn (beat in a battle)
Dogs (shoes)
Fresh (good, original)
Jam (party)
Juice (having a special influence over somone)
Maxin (relaxing)
Rocking it (dancing with real energy)
Shalackers (big feet)
Throwing the base (rapping)
Wack (opposite of fresh, bad)
Zar (short haircut).
In recent times this move has been
renamed the Christopher Reeve maneuver.
In the book they claim the mimes Marcel
Marceau and Shields and Yarnell influenced Bread Dancing. You
haven't felt pain until you're forced to watch videotapes of
crappy Mimes in your high school French class. I don't quite see
their influence in this picture.
These days I think the only kind of Breaking I want to do is
breakin' wind!
-retroRANDY!
