TIRED OF TRYING TO DECIDE WHICH NIGERIAN BANK TO GET YOUR MILLIONS FROM?
AFRICA$H IS HERE FOR YOU!

If you're like most Americans, you're impressed with the 30-40 emails you get a day trying to help out honest Nigerian bankers move millions of dollars into the USA and away from their corrupt government.  But the simple fact is, these days it's hard to know who to trust.  In these trying financial times, it's tough to know Mbutu from Mfume.  That's why Africa$h is here to help.

Let's face it, with all the bestiality porn emails and cool screensaver viruses to look at every day, who has the time to sort through hundreds of emails written with all capital letters and bad English these days?  By setting up an account with Africa$H, we do all the work for you.  Just give us your banking information, social security number, mother's maiden name, DNA sample, vial of urine, and the password to your AOL Instant Messenger, and we'll get things started!

TRUST THE AFRICA$H BOARD OF DIRECTORS!

Babatunde Yoruba
financial experience includes Herbalife, Amway, and Scientology
Idowu Asabe
3 years telemarketing for aluminum siding and prepaid calling card sales
Hamzah Aminu
Africa's premiere authority on making millions by placing tiny ads in the paper

Our crack team of financial experts, pictured above, will match your profile with the best Nigerian bank to fit your needs.  With the untold trillions just waiting to get out of their banks into your hands, how can you pass it up?

Here's some answers to some of the frequently asked questions we get?

Q: How can so many people in Nigeria have $25 Million to put in our banks?  Aren't they one of the poorest nations in the world?

A: Not true.  Though American TV shows many people in our country living in squalid and destitute famine conditions, this is merely because Nigerians just love to save money! 

Q: I heard someone got ripped off, is this a scam!

A: Absolutely not!  We only associate with the most trusted Nigerian bank officials.  We verify that every hotmail account has a valid reply to address before proceeding.

Q: Why isn't Nigeria using this money to better improve their country, instead of sending it all to America?

A: It's all about location.  By moving millions into the USA, we can ultimately benefit Nigeria better by, um... next question!

Still not confident?  Here's some actual testimonials from satisfied customers!


"I THINK THIS WAS TEH BEEST THING I EVER DID WITH MY MONEY.  NIGERIAN BANKS AR BETTER THAN THE STOCK MARKIT.  PLEASE HELP!"
                                                                                     -Sam Henry, Kansas


IF YOU CAN'T TRUST BANKS FROM AFFRICDA, YOU CAN YOU TRUST?
                                                                                 -Joe Smith, Vermont


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                                                                                 -sexyhorny4u@aol.com


We are looking forward to taking helping you invest your money!

Thanks, 

Gambo Hussania
africash@retrocrush.com

 

 

 

satire courtesy of