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THE WORST GIMMICK BAND OF
ALL TIME (REALLY!)
In 1981, The All Sports
The Village People Seem Like High Concept Art Rock!
One sad 1981 evening I was watching Solid Gold, as I did
every week. The show was a perfect snapshot of culture as the era of Disco faded
into an uncertain mess of rock ballads, new wave, and R&B. With hosts like Andy
Gibb, Dionne Warwick, and Marilyn McCoo, and regular performers like Wayland
Flowers & Madam (the gay ventriloquist with an old lady puppet), it was an
assault on the senses. Of course, the sexy Solid Gold Dancers were the main
reason I watched. As an evening alternative to American Bandstand, it offered
acts with more primetime appeal to lip sync their latest hits, with performers
as diverse as Bucker and Garcia ("Pac-Man Fever") to Elvis Costello appearing on
But even my 11 year old sensibilities were put to the test when I saw an "all
new band" that was ready to take America by storm. Someone apparently thought
The Village People was a great enough gimmick to copy with sports players
instead of gay blue-collar types, so they came up with...The All Sports Band.
The sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. You had a baseball player,
kickboxer (who apparently was a hockey player in concept, but was switched when
they realized skates would be pretty hard to wear onstage), race car driver,
football player, and boxer. Apparently after a long day of playing their
respective sports, they wanted to rock out a little.
The song was a forgettable tune called "Jet Set" and they were a sight to behold
as they played. The football player strummed his guitar while wearing his pads
(with no jersey...to please the ladies), and the boxer played drums within a
cute little boxing ring setup. And by cute I mean "hella gay". He even played
drums WITH HIS GLOVES ON!
They never toured, and "surprisingly" never released another album. In fact,
interest in the album they did release was so low, that it hardly shipped to
stores. Most copies that exist are promo editions that were sent to radio
Not surprisingly, my attempts to find an All Sports Band
song on kazaa have been. Also not surprising is that the RIAA has already
sued me for 80 Billion dollars for even trying!
SCAMCITY.com has a great interview with Sy Culack from the band that's worth
looking at. While
RECORD WEIRDO has probably the only known review of the album on the
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Journal o' Fun
willie's rarely updated rant page