MY GOSH! SHE'S CHEWING!!!!!
Remembering Baby Alive (and
wondering what her food tastes like)
Baby Alive was a great toy from 1972 that
let little girls feed her and even change her diapers (much like the less
successful "Grandpa's Barely Alive" doll that came out the year before).
Alive was a great way for little girls to know what it's like to raise a real
baby, only without the pain of stretch marks, and those sleepless nights when
the little shit WON'T STOP CRYING NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO AND
YOU ONLY GET 5 MINUTES OF SLEEP BEFORE IT'S TIME TO GET UP AT 5AM SO YOU CAN
WORK ALL DAMNED DAY IN THE SHIPPING WAREHOUSE JUST SO YOU CAN BLOW HALF YOUR PAY
ON FORMULA, PAMPERS, AND FREAKING RASH CREAM! THANKS A LOT BABY ALIVE, FOR
MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL, YOU LITTLE DEMON SEED!
Sorry, that was a bit harsh. I asked
for a Baby Alive for Christmas, and my parents just laughed at me. They
just said something stupid like, "You're a 33 year old man, why are you asking
for this?" and "The restraining order says you're not supposed to call here
anymore!" Is it any wonder I have "problems"?
love how the ad mentions she comes with "Doll Food". They have to put it
in quotes because it's just figurative "Doll Food" and not real "Doll Food". And
thank the lord it's "NON-TOXIC", because you wouldn't want to feed anything
harmful to a PLASTIC BABY!
That had me wondering what was actually in
that food. Could someone really eat it? The problem is the "Doll
Food" was made over 30 years ago, surely there's not any left, as those hungry
little Baby Alives must have eaten them all by now.
Or did they?
HOLY SHIT! Look what I found! 3
unopened packages of Baby Alive FOOD REFILLS from 1972! They will be
arriving in the mail shortly, and I will put it to the test!
As you can see from the flavors above, you
can choose from "Cheery Cherry", "Yummy Banana", and "Delicious Lime". Are
these really delicious? I'll be the judge of that!
STAY TUNED FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION
WHEN I MAKE AND EAT THESE YUMMY BABY ALIVE MEALS!