The 1989 book, "Denim: To Die For" has a perfect title for these models wearing these crazy Denim creations.

RANDY: It was awful when people used to wear an entire outfit of the stuff from head to toe. I hated acid wash!

ROBERT: Yes, the worst was that weird shade of baby shit green acid wash.  They should have called them "colon-wash jeans."

 

RANDY: For many people the more junk you attached or glued to your denim jacket the cooler you were. Heck, I even owned a denim jacket with a plaid inner lining I was mighty proud of for about 5 years.

ROBERT: You still see overweight ladies who enjoy country music wearing this sort of stuff. 

 

RANDY:  Hey, it's Jo from the "Facts of Life" all gussied up! You know things are bad when you have an "Aqua Net Sheen" coming off of your hair in a photograph.

ROBERT: I'm too busy looking at her acid washed camel-toe!

 

RANDY: The woman with the sassiest hair & flashiest denim gets her man! Isn't that Kelly Le Brock?

ROBERT: More like Smelly Le Brock, am I right?

RANDY:  Uhh...no.
 

 

RANDY: It's like Samantha Fox just created a clone army!

ROBERT: The girl on the bottom left looks kind of like Tina Yothers as a female!
 

RANDY: The "preppy girls" with the bad hair styles and the upturned Polo shirts are anything BUT charming! To be honest I was afraid to talk to girls like these in High School. They chewed huge wads of gum and replied, "Duh! and WHY are you talking to me?". Course they got married, divorced 3 times, gained a 100 lbs., and had 5 kids by the time they were 25. So duh...who's the stupid one now.

ROBERT: Boy, if you weren't gay, I'd say you were bitter.  These girls look like the ones Molly Ringwald would always be mad at in those John Hughes movies.  Boy, what happened to him, anyway?  First he was doing teen movies, then kid movies like Home Alone, then movies about infants (Baby's Day Out), until he left the human species altogether and did 101 Dalmatians.  At this rate he's going to make a movie about fleas any day now.

RANDY:  You've been saving that joke a while, haven't you.

ROBERT:  Yeah.

RANDY:  Should have kept saving it...

 

RANDY: This guy definitely has to be a "Wham" fan circa 1989. Honest, I like his haircut and his pouty look.

ROBERT: What's up with the brown smudges on his face he's passing off as whiskers? 

RANDY: To think wearing a Hard Rock Cafe logo or T-shirt use to be the height of coolness. I must confess the pink triangle on the back is a nice touch, too.

ROBERT: I have the strangest urge to go to Kazaa and download go buy some Erasure music.

 

RANDY: I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody!

ROBERT: Jeez, all those buttons look like medals.  The one on her left pocket was for advanced swallowing.
 

RANDY: More hellish fashion (a denim vest and one tassel on the right collar???) and it's bad enough they wear it, but they have to force their kids to have high hair, and permed hairdos too!

ROBERT: You, too, can make your daughter look like Jon Benet Ramsey!