FINDING NEMO IS ONE SEXY
PIXAR has done it again! After the
success of BUGS LIFE, THE TOY STORY films, and MONSTERS INC., their latest instant classic
FINDING NEMO does not disappoint! Animated with the aid of computers, this
is one "fish tail" that does not disappoint!
Albert Brooks, the curly headed Jewish guy
from The In-Laws does the voice of Marlin the
clownfish. His raw sensuality is apparent as the father,
who's trying hard to find his son, Nemo. (That's where you get the title of the
movie from, you see!).
But the real talent comes from Ellen
Degeneris who plays a lesbian fish named Dory. Every time that fish
opened its mouth, I couldn't help buy wonder how those blue lips would feel
against mine. Sure, its a fish, but you can't deny she's one sexy little
tart. I haven't seen fish this sexy since Piranha II: The Spawning.
I also found the movie to be difficult to
watch while making love to an inflatable fish. A note to you parents, if you've got a problem
seeing people enjoy the full interactive experience of a film like this, just wait until the DVD comes out and
just watch it at home, would ya? If only the security guards were more
tolerant of my behavior, I could have finished watching the thing.
Some of the film is disappointing, like
when you have to look at all the water for the whole movie. If they could
have thrown in a few desert or jungle scenes to spice thing up, it would have
made it a bit more interesting. They might as well have just called this
movie "BUNCH OF FISH IN THE WATER FOR 2 HOURS: THE RECKONING" (I always thought
"The Reckoning" was a good sub-title, so that was just thrown on for commercial
In addition, the ushers in the movie
theater need to do a better job pointing me to the right screen. I spent
15 minutes watching a movie about a guy throwing up and losing his hair before I
realized I accidentally sat down to a showing of FINDING CHEMO.
I recommend watching FINDING NEMO while
eating Pepperidge Farm Goldfish! It's like you're some giant genocidal
fish eating man! Don't miss out!
At the grocery store this evening, I was
surprised to see the overwhelming amount of FINDING NEMO merchandising.
The coloring books and stickers make sense, but the FINDING NEMO maple syrup is
puzzling, and I don't think the FINDING NEMO Douche will sell well, despite
being aromatically accurate.
I just read about some guy that killed his
parents and used his obsession with THE MATRIX RELOADED as a defense. I
wonder if any kid will off mom and dad and use FINDING NEMO as an excuse?
If he does, he should be declared "Not Guilty" for creativity alone.
All in all, hats off to PIXAR for making such a fine
film! And I hope that FINDING NEMO II: WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT LITTLE GUY GO
THIS TIME? is as good as the first.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
We're happy to have Kirk aboard. His reviews have appeared in Highlights
for Children, The Needles Register, and message #56784 in
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