JUNE 20, 2003
Lou Ferrigno, star of the TV series of THE
HULK poses at a Hollywood premiere of the HULK film. Though disappointed
that he wasn't cast as the lead in the film version, he acknowledges he's not as
crappily animated as he used to be and it was time for a change of the guard.
Also at the premiere, when asked if he was
Ang Lee, the film's director replied, "No, I'm very happy!"
The Olsen Twins celebrated their 17th
birthday last week, causing hundreds of websites to seriously ponder what sort
of witty gag they'll replace their Olsen Twin Jailbait Countdown Clocks with.
Distraught pedophiles are depressed at the soon to be legal sisters, but admit,
"they still have the bodies of 15 year olds!"
Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson celebrated a
year of being steady by going out for a night on the town. Kid gave Pamela
a 6 carat yellow diamond ring to mark the occasion, while Anderson gave Rock
Meanwhile The Who performed at a benefit
concert, but out of respect for Pete Townshend's legal troubles, they will no
longer perform "Teenage Wasteland", "Rough Boys", or "The Kids Are Allright".
Luther Vandross is still recovering from
his medical troubles, but has recorded a remake of Billy Squier's "The Stroke"
to help keep his singing skills sharp.
JK Rowling angered fans at a Harry Potter
promotional appearance by writing, "HA HA HA! I'm richer than God, you little
SHIT!" in many of the children's books.
And finally, Spike Lee stunned legal
experts by successfully blocking TNN from changing their name to "Spike TV".
Encouraged by his success, Spike plans to sue "The Asshole Channel" and "The
Stupid Fuckhead Network" next.