Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate Studies conducted 12.13.1978

After testing Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate Studies on men and women in a control group of 15 each, we found the following results:

1- all men who ingested 5oz of the substance daily over a 1 week period began to convulse violently, grow pimples on their eyeballs, and had large pus filled balloons grow in their gums.

2-women who took the substance grew giant purple tentacles from their vaginas and suffered massive anal bleeding.