CANNIBAL KITCHENS
A LOOK AT THE SECRET LIFE OF FLESH-EATING MOMS

Randy's finally lost it, folks!  He's been hanging out in thrift stores for so long, that the combined stench of Lysol, dead ticks, and used underwear has begun to rot his brain.  How else can you explain this twisted look at pictures from a 1963 issue of Farm Journal? 

"This seasoning is so zingy, they'll never know it's John Ritter!"

"I wonder how these would feel up my no-no spot? Ain't nobody gonna notice if I sneak a few up there. It'll make a perfect replacement to my dead husband's severed penis which will go bad soon, if I don't stick it between two buns and eat it."

Baking children is fun with this extra wide General Electric Kiddie Bake oven. The patented Easy Assault Trap oven door prevents unwanted escaping or arrests during baking.

"If only I could remember my name, if I'm a man or a woman, if that was a bowel movement or a wet fart, if I ever banged Ronnie Reagan, where I'm at, or if I even remotely have any flesh on my body 40 years after this picture was taken. Thank God I have the mummified penis of Hervé Villechaize to keep me company. My ultimate fantasy is to dip it in Chocolate and make a frozen midget pop."

Manwich Pancakes on a Sunday! They sure smell great. The only real guests I'm having are already IN the pancakes.

Hey I thought this Orgy foodfest was men only! Lets kill Junie for showing up and cook her breasts in olive oil. For dessert I'm going to eat these sticky buns and every inch of senior cock in this room!

If I beat my best friend to death with this Spatula I can make a healthy stir fry meal for pennies on the dollar that will feed the ENTIRE family!

Every good cannibal mother knows the importance of using camoflauge to trap your prey.  By dressing the same color as your cabinets, you can use the element of surprise to kill your husband and both kids before they even finish their milk and cookies.

NICHELLE NICHOLS INTERVIEW

Whether you're a full fledged Star Trek geek, or not a fan at all, everyone has their favorite Trek girl.  Despite the long list of goddesses to grace the show, I've always been an Uhura man.  From her kickass hair to the way she fit in to that red mini-skirted uniform, it was hard to stop looking at her.  So when Randy had a chance to do a quick interview Nichelle Nichols for retroCRUSH, I was excited.  Hell, when Randy and I were growing up and played with his Mego Star Trek dolls, I'd always grab the Uhura one and just stare at it, sneaking a quick peek under her skirt.   We didn't have a lot of time to do a full blown interview with Nichelle, so we tried to stay away from the Trek questions she's been asked a jillion times already.  And a an added bonus, check out our Nichelle Nichols gallery at the end!

CLICK HERE FOR OUR EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW and GALLERY

THE BARBARA EDEN GALLERY
YOUR WISH IS OUR COMMAND!

In the last 3 years, we've featured a lot of classic retroBABES, but my favorite of them all has to be Barbara Eden.  She was our 2nd gallery ever made (the first was Julie Newmar), and she's received hundreds of thousands of visitors here ever since.  Looking back at the original gallery, I found it to be lacking several great photos I've come across in the mean time, so to honor the world's sexiest genie, here's a super giant Barbara Eden Tribute to end them all!  And how's this for making you feel old, this August, Barbara is going to turn 70 YEARS OLD!

CLICK HERE FOR THE SUPER GENIE-SIZED GALLERY!

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!

I went to the METREON complex in San Francisco to see a preview of Paramount's upcoming 2004 films, and was thrilled to see an attraction for kids based on the Maurice Sendak classic, "Where The Wild Things Are".  It's just a fancy maze and play area full of cool things to look at and do, but it's remarkably well done, and they even have a Night Kitchen restaurant to eat in when you're all through (don't try the pancakes, rumor has it some kid keeps jumping in the batter with no clothes on).  It's on 4th and Mission and I totally recommend stopping by.  The adult friendly admission is $4, which is $2 cheaper than sucker kids have to pay!  Here's some photos to enjoy!

BRAZILIAN KIDS SHOW QUEEN SUPREME, XUXA!

Brazilian kids have all the luck!  While we get stuck with kid shows featuring Barney and The Teletubbies, they get to sing songs and dance with Xuxa!  Xuxa's 20 plus years of hosting children's programming full of singing, dancing, and outrageous outfits that Christina Aguilera would turn her nose up at, have made her one of the more popular TV stars in the world.  While the US media and press tend to condemn any adult working on a kid's show if they "fall from grace", Xuxa has endured nude photos, and an affair with John F. Kennedy, Jr. no worse for the wear.  She was even the target of a fan armed kidnap plot that was brazenly attempted on the set of her show and left 2 members of her crew dead.  Xuxa turns 41 on March 7th, and still looks better than ever!  Enjoy this gallery from many stages of her career!

CLICK HERE FOR OUR MUY BONITA XUXA GALLERIA!