"WOTTA DOLL!"
A LOOK AT THE TOP 20 MALE REACTIONS TO OLIVE OYL

When one thinks of sexy cartoon character babes, Olive Oyl seems to get lost in the shuffle, but the grand dame of cartoon gals is the prototype inked vixen.  Though Popeye turns 75 this month, few realize that his gal Olive, was actually a regular in the Thimble Theater strip he first appeared in 10 years prior!  Yep, this 85 year old doll was knocking them dead 16 years before Betty Boop was created.  Pastor Steve, who runs a great and impressively obsessive pop-culture site was kind enough to let us run this great tribute to the red-blooded "yahoo!" male reactions to the lovely Ms. Oyl.  Tex Avery's cartoons with eye-poppin' howling wolfs popularized this great art form, but the Popeye toons took the reactions to a whole new level.  So without further adieu, we present, "The Top Reactions To Olive Oyl".

20. Toreadorable - The bullfighter is waving to the crowd and quickly scanning them.  Suddenly, his brain registers what he's seen and he does a double-take to focus in on Olive Oyl.  His mouth hangs open in amazed rapturous delight (henceforth referred to as "ARD"). His eyes become fire alarm bells and begin ringing like crazy.

19. Shape Ahoy - Popeye and Bluto's mouths hang open in ARD. Their eyeballs go in and out to the beat of percussion. The leaves they had been using for fans suddenly go wild, come to rest over them acting as their "hair", and signifying that they are entertaining some pretty wild thoughts about the castaway, Ms. Oyl.

18. Pre-Hysterical Man - The caveman's art work shows us that he has a preoccupation with beautiful women and when he sees Olive Oyl, his body stiffens and points toward her. His mouth hangs open in ARD. His eyes become a slot machine which comes up double "Peach".

17. Pitchin' Woo At The Zoo - Zookeeper Bluto, standing under a sign that reads, "Wolf", sees Olive. His neck stretches and twists. His eyes pop out. His mouth hangs open in ARD. His neck elongates toward Olive. He exclaims, "What a feminine female!"

16. The Royal Four-Flusher - The Count's eyes which had been half shut suddenly spring open wide when he sees Olive. He leans out over his horse toward her. His neck and upper body elongate toward her. His cigarette holder points straight up. He happily leers at her.

15.  Popeye and The Pirates - When Pierre spots Olive Oyl, the sound effect, "Boing!" is heard. His eyes, including his patched, presumably blind one, become binoculars to give him a closer look. (Guys won't let a little thing like blindness stop them from ogling Olive!) His mouth hangs open in ARD. His mustache starts going up and down and then straightens stiffly out. 

14. A Wolf In Sheik's Clothing - The Sheik glances in Olive's direction as he hears her sighing, "Uhh, I wish I could meet a big strong sheik who'd kiss me to pieces and leave me so weak!  (Swoons)".  He double-takes, his eyes widen, and his mouth hangs open in (you guessed it) ARD.  His mustache twirls around.  Then he zooms to set up a kissing booth and starts the music that will bring Olive Oyl to him.

13. The Fistic Mystic- Bluto's eyes widen and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His eyeballs trace a great figure as they gaze at Olive.

12. Tops In the Big Top - Bluto gives Olive an extremely close range once-over. His face morphs into a wolf's. He strokes his mustache and says lasciviously, "Mmm...What a feature attraction I'd make with Olive Oyl!"

11. Robin Hood-Winked - The Sheriff Of Nottingham/Bluto's jaw drops and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His heart starts enlarging and beating louder and harder, finally morphing into a wolf's head which then howls. He then tells Olive, "For a pretty wench such as thou, ye taxes I forget - and how!"   When he races off with her, his face looks like a happy, hungry animal about to eat.

10. Alpine For You - When Bluto the guide spots Olive at long range, his eyeballs pop out of his binoculars, his pupils become huge with images of Olive Oyl on them. He says, "OOOOH ,la, la, la, la, this I'd like to guide!"

9. Safari so Good - Tarzan/Bluto's jaw drops and his mouth hangs open in ARD. when he meets Olive. A telegraphic message, "Wotta Woman", is broadcast out of his head. He beats his chest and makes strange noises. He hops wildly around the area, ending up hanging from a tree gazing at her while resting his head on his hands.

8. I'll Be Skiing You - Bluto happily checks out Olive as she skates by. His jaw drops and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His tongue hangs out. His eyes pop out. He stretches his neck way up into the air and gives a loud, long, wolf howl (that, sure enough, attracts a real female wolf). Then he says of Olive, "Mmm! I'd like to teach that figure a figure or two!" 

7. Vacation With Play - The athletic instructor passes over doll-faced Olive Oyl as he's checking out the new women at the resort. He double-takes and rivets his gaze back on her as we hear, "Boing!" His jaw drops and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His hat flies off his head. His eyeballs roll out of his head toward Olive and right away he decides that she needs some private lessons. He leers at her with a slightly lupine expression on his face as he furiously paddles the canoe in order to get Olive Oyl, alone and in the mood for love, into his cabin.

6. A Balmy Swami - When Bluto the hypnotist sees Olive Oyl cheering for him, both his turban and his body spring up and down to appropriate sound effects. His mouth opens in ARD. His body stiffens and points toward Olive. His eyes widen and his pupils turn into figures of Bluto and a curvy Olive Oyl beginning to woo. In his fantasy, the Bluto figure reaches up and pulls the eyelid shut so he and the Olive figure can have some privacy.

5. Gym Jam - When Bluto spots Olive jogging, he jumps off the ground and hangs suspended for a few moments in the air. His pants legs ride up on him. His upper body stiffens and points toward Olive Oyl. His neck stretches way out toward her. His eyes pop out of his head. His mouth hangs way open and his tongue hangs out. He howls, "YEEEOOOWW!" And then says, "This babe is some angel! That she is for me!" Then he fantasizes that Olive is an angel.

4. Cops Is Tops - A robber making a get-away from a heist speeds past Olive Oyl who is standing beside the road doing her imitation of Claudette Colbert in "It Happened One Night." It suddenly dawns on him what he saw. He lets go of the wheel, leans way out of the window and looks back longingly at Olive. Hugging himself in ARD., he exclaims, "What a doll!!" and then promptly smashes into a wall. Later in the cartoon, a hulk ignores Olive's attempts to arrest him, becoming doggedly determined to get a kiss from the "babe" instead.

3. Beach Peach - The lifeguard's entire body stiffens and points straight out from the tower at Olive Oyl. The sound effect, "Boing!" is heard. "Hubba, Hubba!!" he says and then lets out a loud, long wolf whistle. His mouth hangs open in ARD. (See previous paragraph for definition).  His eyeballs pop out and then leave his head entirely as they travel over to give Olive an extremely close once-over, tracing a gorgeous figure and pretty legs as they do so. When his eyeballs return, he wastes no time zooming to Olive Oyl's side.

2. Snow Place Like Home - A thoroughly bored Pierre suddenly comes to life and springs into excited action as he smashes Popeye into the counter in order to get a look over the top of him at Olive Oyl in her bikini. His mouth hangs open in amazed, rapturous delight (ARD.). His neck stretches out toward her. Likewise, his eyes stretch out of his head toward her. His mustache straightens and stiffens.  Pierre's eyeballs catch on fire and sound a fire alarm.   A heat ray comes from his eyes and melts the ice block imprisoning Olive as he gives her a slow once-over. He then rushes to the delighted Olive Oyl with a fur coat.

1. The Island Fling - Mr. Crusoe surveys Popeye's raft using a telescope. He zooms in on Olive Oyl, giving her the once-over as the eyepiece forms a heart.  His eyes widen and his eyeball flies out of the end of the telescope toward Olive.  His mouth hangs open in ARD.  He leers and leans way out the window, his body stiffening and pointing toward Olive.  Crusoe morphs into a wolf and gives a long, hungry howl. 

He concentrates on her legs and says, "Ahhh, Mmmm, Them pins sure bowls me over!"  The end of the telescope becomes an extension of Mr. Crusoe, forming lips and making kissing (or even eating) motions toward Olive, then speaking in some kind of ecstatic utterance something that sounds almost like, but not quite, "Ahhh, Hubba, Hubba. Hubba!"  Crusoe then races around his apartment, getting it ready for a date (setting out champagne, glasses. pillows on the couch, a book of etchings - good joke, by the way, etc. ).  He selects cologne saying, "This scent will send her," kisses his fingertips, then strikes a Tarzan stance, neighs like Man O' War, and races down to the beach to greet Ms. Oyl.

(c)2004 Pastor Steve
http://www.mtcnet.net/~bierly/index.html

 


By the way, this picture I got from Steve's site is amazing, too!  What on earth would drive an inanimate object to lust over a girl?  Does this car with eye-popping headlights think he actually has a shot at Olive?  And just what does he think he's gonna do with her if he actually succeeds?  Luckily the animated automobile on skinny lady porn fetish never took off.


 


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