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"WOTTA DOLL!"
A LOOK AT THE TOP 20 MALE REACTIONS TO OLIVE OYL
 
When one thinks of sexy cartoon
character babes, Olive Oyl seems to get lost in the shuffle, but the
grand dame of cartoon gals is the prototype inked vixen.
Though Popeye turns 75 this month, few realize that his gal Olive,
was actually a regular in the Thimble Theater strip he first
appeared in 10 years prior! Yep, this 85 year old doll was
knocking them dead 16 years before Betty Boop was created.
Pastor Steve, who runs a great and
impressively
obsessive pop-culture site was kind enough to let us run this
great tribute to the red-blooded "yahoo!" male reactions to the
lovely Ms. Oyl. Tex Avery's cartoons with eye-poppin' howling
wolfs popularized this great art form, but the Popeye toons took the
reactions to a whole new level. So without further adieu, we
present, "The Top Reactions To Olive Oyl".

20. Toreadorable -
The bullfighter is waving to the crowd and
quickly scanning them. Suddenly, his brain registers what he's seen
and he does a double-take to focus in on Olive Oyl. His mouth hangs
open in amazed rapturous delight (henceforth referred to as "ARD").
His eyes become fire alarm bells and begin ringing like crazy.

19. Shape Ahoy -
Popeye and Bluto's mouths hang open in ARD. Their
eyeballs go in and out to the beat of percussion. The leaves they
had been using for fans suddenly go wild, come to rest over them
acting as their "hair", and signifying that they are entertaining
some pretty wild thoughts about the castaway, Ms. Oyl.

18. Pre-Hysterical Man -
The caveman's art work shows us that he has a preoccupation with
beautiful women and when he sees Olive Oyl, his body stiffens and
points toward her. His mouth hangs open in ARD. His eyes become a
slot machine which comes up double "Peach".
 
17. Pitchin' Woo At The Zoo -
Zookeeper Bluto, standing under a sign that reads, "Wolf", sees
Olive. His neck stretches and twists. His eyes pop out. His mouth
hangs open in ARD. His neck elongates toward Olive. He exclaims,
"What a feminine female!"

16. The Royal Four-Flusher -
The Count's eyes which had been half shut suddenly spring open wide
when he sees Olive. He leans out over his horse toward her. His neck
and upper body elongate toward her. His cigarette holder points
straight up. He happily leers at her.

15. Popeye and The Pirates -
When Pierre spots Olive Oyl, the sound effect, "Boing!" is heard.
His eyes, including his patched, presumably blind one, become
binoculars to give him a closer look. (Guys won't let a little thing
like blindness stop them from ogling Olive!) His mouth hangs open in
ARD. His mustache starts going up and down and then straightens
stiffly out.

14. A Wolf In Sheik's Clothing
- The Sheik glances in Olive's direction as he hears her
sighing, "Uhh, I wish I could meet a big strong sheik who'd kiss me
to pieces and leave me so weak! (Swoons)". He double-takes, his
eyes widen, and his mouth hangs open in (you guessed it) ARD. His
mustache twirls around. Then he zooms to set up a kissing booth and
starts the music that will bring Olive Oyl to him.

13. The Fistic Mystic-
Bluto's eyes widen and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His eyeballs
trace a great figure as they gaze at Olive.

12. Tops In the Big Top -
Bluto gives Olive an extremely close range once-over. His face
morphs into a wolf's. He strokes his mustache and says lasciviously,
"Mmm...What a feature attraction I'd make with Olive Oyl!"

11. Robin Hood-Winked -
The Sheriff Of Nottingham/Bluto's jaw drops
and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His heart starts enlarging and
beating louder and harder, finally morphing into a wolf's head
which then howls. He then tells Olive, "For a pretty wench such
as thou, ye taxes I forget - and how!" When he races off with her,
his face looks like a happy, hungry animal about to eat.

10. Alpine For You -
When Bluto the guide spots Olive at long range, his eyeballs pop out
of his binoculars, his pupils become huge with images of Olive Oyl
on them. He says, "OOOOH ,la, la, la, la, this I'd like to
guide!"

9. Safari so Good -
Tarzan/Bluto's jaw drops and his mouth hangs open in ARD. when he
meets Olive. A telegraphic message, "Wotta Woman", is broadcast out
of his head. He beats his chest and makes strange noises. He hops
wildly around the area, ending up hanging from a tree gazing at her
while resting his head on his hands.
 
8. I'll Be Skiing You
- Bluto happily checks out Olive as she skates by. His jaw drops
and his mouth hangs open in ARD. His tongue hangs out. His eyes pop
out. He stretches his neck way up into the air and gives a loud,
long, wolf howl (that, sure enough, attracts a real female wolf).
Then he says of Olive, "Mmm! I'd like to teach that figure a figure
or two!"

7. Vacation With Play -
The athletic instructor passes over doll-faced Olive Oyl as
he's checking out the new women at the resort. He double-takes and
rivets his gaze back on her as we hear, "Boing!" His jaw drops and
his mouth hangs open in ARD. His hat flies off his head. His
eyeballs roll out of his head toward Olive and right away he decides
that she needs some private lessons. He leers at her with a slightly
lupine expression on his face as he furiously paddles the canoe in
order to get Olive Oyl, alone and in the mood for love, into his
cabin.

6. A Balmy Swami - When
Bluto the hypnotist sees Olive Oyl cheering for him, both his turban
and his body spring up and down to appropriate sound effects. His
mouth opens in ARD. His body stiffens and points toward Olive. His
eyes widen and his pupils turn into figures of Bluto and a curvy
Olive Oyl beginning to woo. In his fantasy, the Bluto figure reaches
up and pulls the eyelid shut so he and the Olive figure can have
some privacy.

5. Gym Jam - When Bluto
spots Olive jogging, he jumps off the ground and hangs suspended for
a few moments in the air. His pants legs ride up on him. His upper
body stiffens and points toward Olive Oyl. His neck stretches way
out toward her. His eyes pop out of his head. His mouth hangs way
open and his tongue hangs out. He howls, "YEEEOOOWW!" And then says,
"This babe is some angel! That she is for me!" Then he fantasizes
that Olive is an angel.

4. Cops Is Tops
- A robber making a get-away from a heist speeds past Olive Oyl
who is standing beside the road doing her imitation of Claudette
Colbert in "It Happened One Night." It suddenly dawns on him what he
saw. He lets go of the wheel, leans way out of the window and looks
back longingly at Olive. Hugging himself in ARD., he exclaims, "What
a doll!!" and then promptly smashes into a wall. Later in the
cartoon, a hulk ignores Olive's attempts to arrest him, becoming
doggedly determined to get a kiss from the "babe" instead.

3. Beach Peach - The
lifeguard's entire body stiffens and points straight out from the
tower at Olive Oyl. The sound effect, "Boing!" is heard. "Hubba,
Hubba!!" he says and then lets out a loud, long wolf whistle. His
mouth hangs open in ARD. (See previous paragraph for definition).
His eyeballs pop out and then leave his head entirely as they travel
over to give Olive an extremely close once-over, tracing a gorgeous
figure and pretty legs as they do so. When his eyeballs return, he
wastes no time zooming to Olive Oyl's side.

2. Snow Place Like Home -
A thoroughly bored Pierre suddenly comes to life and springs into
excited action as he smashes Popeye into the counter in order to get
a look over the top of him at Olive Oyl in her bikini. His mouth
hangs open in amazed, rapturous delight (ARD.). His neck stretches
out toward her. Likewise, his eyes stretch out of his head toward
her. His mustache straightens and stiffens. Pierre's eyeballs
catch on fire and sound a fire alarm. A heat ray comes from his
eyes and melts the ice block imprisoning Olive as he gives her a
slow once-over. He then rushes to the delighted Olive Oyl with a fur
coat.

1. The Island Fling -
Mr. Crusoe surveys Popeye's raft using a telescope.
He zooms in on Olive Oyl, giving her the once-over as the eyepiece
forms a heart. His eyes widen and his eyeball flies out of the end
of the telescope toward Olive. His mouth hangs open in ARD. He
leers and leans way out the window, his body stiffening and pointing
toward Olive. Crusoe morphs into a wolf and gives a long, hungry
howl.
He concentrates on her legs and says,
"Ahhh, Mmmm, Them pins sure bowls me over!" The end of the
telescope becomes an extension of Mr. Crusoe, forming lips and
making kissing (or even eating) motions toward Olive, then speaking
in some kind of ecstatic utterance something that sounds almost
like, but not quite, "Ahhh, Hubba, Hubba. Hubba!" Crusoe then races
around his apartment, getting it ready for a date (setting out
champagne, glasses. pillows on the couch, a book of etchings - good
joke, by the way, etc. ). He selects cologne saying, "This scent
will send her," kisses his fingertips, then strikes a Tarzan stance,
neighs like Man O' War, and races down to the beach to greet Ms. Oyl.
(c)2004 Pastor Steve
http://www.mtcnet.net/~bierly/index.html
By the way, this picture I got from
Steve's site is amazing, too! What on earth would drive an
inanimate object to lust over a girl? Does this car with
eye-popping headlights think he actually has a shot at Olive?
And just what does he think he's gonna do with her if he actually
succeeds? Luckily the animated automobile on skinny lady porn
fetish never took off.

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