IT FAKES A VILLAGE
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN'S LATEST "THRILLER" IS ALL TWIST
Bryce Howard, Ron Howard's daughter, stars in The Village
and looks rather unhappy
The Village is simply an awful film. I hated it much like
you'd hate drinking orange juice after you brush your teeth. I'm a big fan
of M.Night Shyamalan's previous film, but this one is a collossal waste of time,
talent, and money.
Here's the story; a bunch of people live in a secluded society in
the middle of the woods and are told to not leave the perimeter or strange
creatures will eat them. But things aren't what they seem. Stretch
that out over 2 hours and show a lot of footage of trees, and slap on an asinine
twist ending, and you have The Village.
It's incredibly boring, UN-scary, and pointless. It's a slow
giant uninteresting build up to an underwhelming twist ending that is pointless.
There's two big crimes with the ending
1) There's absolutely no clues or hints that this ending was coming along. When
you learn the truth about Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense, or the secret in The
Crying Game, you can smile and look back at the whole movie and say, "Oh
yeah....that's why THAT was there and why THAT happened and why they said THAT."
In The Village you're left with, "Uhhh....THAT fucking sucked!" There's no point
to it other than to say, "HAW HAW...here's a twist out of nowhere!"
SPOILER WARNING: DO NOT HIGHLIGHT THIS BLACK AREA WITH
YOUR MOUSE UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE, OR WISH TO FIND OUT THE ENDING AND
SPOIL IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE THEY SEE IT.
2) The twist isn't even
You learn that the Village is really in our time and they're set inside of a
Wildlife Preserve. But the wad is shot when you see Hurt looking through some
old photos revealing they exist in modern times. And EXPLANATIONS why they are
there, all BEFORE the viewers see it for themselves when Ivy Climbs the fence.
That might have been at least a "Oh shit" moment with a mild payoff, but by
exposing and explaining it all before that is anti-climactic and silly.
The excellent cast is wasted in this. Adrien Brody is just a retard that doesn't
stop laughing, William Hurt's character is boring, Sigourney Weaver had nothing
interesting to say, and Joaquin Phoenix isn't in the film near enough to matter.
Bryce Howard is an amazing standout as Ivy, and shows she has a magnetic
presence that's hard to stop looking at, but everyone else is just there as
Please please please M.Night...stop making movies with TWISTS in them! Come up
with a decent story first and throw a fitting ending on it afterward, instead of
trying to work backwards like this.
After I saw this, I heard some critics lauding the film. One guy was saying,
"Wow...this was just like a 30 minute Twilight Zone episode stretched into a two
hour film. Anyone else this would be boring, but he makes it work!" No he
doesn't. I'm sick of this "free ride" attitude people have with M.Night. I've
even heard other viewers say, "Some folks can't appreciate a slow paced film."
There's a big difference from a good slow paced story, than a slow paced film
with very little story.
An awful awful film!
Perhaps if ninjas or pirates were in the film, it could have been
much better, but Shymalana's insistence on using people wearing rain slickers
stolen from The Gorton's Fisherman to evoke terror was a miscalculation of epic
I was able to speak with Michael Night Shymalian about this film
during a phone interview and he said, "How the hell did you get this number?
If you call here again, I'll kill you!"
In all seriousness, I never spoke with the man, but if I did, I'd
tell him, "Hey, next time you make a movie, maybe try making it GOOD!"
There were many people that left the screening I attended that
were raving about this film saying things like, "I love this film!" but they
were the same folks that were cheering when the commercial of those stupid
Fandango paper bag puppets came onscreen, so you can't trust what those morons
Another thing I didn't like about this film was that the air
conditioner wasn't turned on. Everyone at the Market Square theater at
Arden Fair Mall was stuffy and uncomfortable. And I don't mean to be
nitpicky, but the popcorn really wasn't up to par, either. Even Rob
Cockerham, from cockeyed.com, who was
sitting next to me and making an illegal camcorder copy of the film to sell on
the internet turned it off halfway through and said, "I think I'd have better
luck selling a 2 hour video of my pants!" Actually, he really didn't say
that, but I wish he'd make such a film, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
Anyway, unless you're a big fan of lousy movies, I wouldn't
recommend seeing this.
ONE out of FIVE