WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!

I went to the METREON complex in San Francisco to see a preview of Paramount's upcoming 2004 films, and was thrilled to see an attraction for kids based on the Maurice Sendak classic, "Where The Wild Things Are".  It's just a fancy maze and play area full of cool things to look at and do, but it's remarkably well done, and they even have a Night Kitchen restaurant to eat in when you're all through (don't try the pancakes, rumor has it some kid keeps jumping in the batter with no clothes on).  It's on 4th and Mission and I totally recommend stopping by.  The adult friendly admission is $4, which is $2 cheaper than sucker kids have to pay!  Here's some photos to enjoy!

BRAZILIAN KIDS SHOW QUEEN SUPREME, XUXA!

Brazilian kids have all the luck!  While we get stuck with kid shows featuring Barney and The Teletubbies, they get to sing songs and dance with Xuxa!  Xuxa's 20 plus years of hosting children's programming full of singing, dancing, and outrageous outfits that Christina Aguilera would turn her nose up at, have made her one of the more popular TV stars in the world.  While the US media and press tend to condemn any adult working on a kid's show if they "fall from grace", Xuxa has endured nude photos, and an affair with John F. Kennedy, Jr. no worse for the wear.  She was even the target of a fan armed kidnap plot that was brazenly attempted on the set of her show and left 2 members of her crew dead.  Xuxa turns 41 on March 7th, and still looks better than ever!  Enjoy this gallery from many stages of her career!

CLICK HERE FOR OUR MUY BONITA XUXA GALLERIA!

THE LADYKILLERS
THE COEN BROTHERS STUMBLE WITH THIS UNFUNNY MESS

The Ladykillers is a horrible movie. When I saw the commercials that featured a hyper Tom Hanks made up to look like some bizarro Colonel Sanders on crack, it just looked bad. And when I saw that Marlon Wayans was in the cast mugging it up, it looked even worse. But after seeing that The Coen Brothers were behind it, the wonderful geniuses who’ve made O Brother Where Art Thou?, Fargo, The Big Lebowski, and other films that rank among my favorites, I had faith. They had never let me down before. Until now…

CLICK HERE FOR THE ENTIRE REVIEW

JAMES AT 44
RETROCRUSH INTERVIEWS LANCE KERWIN

Anybody who grew up during the 70’s would have had to be living in a cave not to remember Lance Kerwin. He was a very popular teen heartthrob, but he also was the star of the classic James at 15, Salem’s Lot, about 11 ABC Afterschool specials, and over a 130 other movies and TV shows. Lance was kind enough to talk to us about his career in this exclusive retroCRUSH interview.

CLICK HERE TO READ IT!

DAWN OF THE DEAD
WHEN THERE'S NO MORE ROOM IN HOLLYWOOD...

I’m one of those guys that think you can’t have enough zombie movies, so amidst the moans from die-hard fans of George Romero’s “Living Dead” films that viewed the Dawn of the Dead remake as sacrilege, it didn’t really bother me much.  I mean I can understand the concern.  Just like Batman fans felt that Michael Keaton was going to screw it all up, seeing a modern Hollywood take on  one of the most beloved horror films of all time written by the guy who scripted Scooby Doo would certainly make the most optimistic filmgoers leery.

CLICK HERE FOR THE REST OF OUR EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PREVIEW REVIEW

EBONY AND IRONY
A LOOK AT VINTAGE ADS FROM EBONY MAGAZINE

Making fun of 80s culture is like shooting fish in a barrel.  From acid wash jeans to neon headbands, there was no shortage of outrageous fashion to laugh at.  But awkward white kids certainly didn't corner the market on over the top style, as these ads from some early 80s EBONY magazines featuring SOUL AIDS and SUPER CURL cream clearly demonstrate.  You can click each picture for a larger version...can you dig it?

Apparently with CC or VO, you're sure to get plenty of VD.

Mmmm, nothing says romance like Malt Liquor flavored champagne!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE NICHE MARKETING ACTION!

STARSKY AND HUTCH

Starsky and Hutch is the rare movie based on a TV show that actually worked.  Taking a cue from the underrated Brady Bunch films, S&H doesn't take itself very seriously, and by parodying the time period and genre from whence it came, it's a hilarious success.  What's great is that the source material is not some beloved show like Star Trek that has some rabid fan base that "Hollywood better not screw up or I'll be pissed."  With the simple formula of a cool car, 2 random guys, 70s pop culture, and a charismatic pimp, it's easy to run wild creatively and make a funny movie.

It's really been beaten into our heads about the 8 films Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson have made together, but I'll grudgingly admit that it's their chemistry that really  makes this film special.  Stiller does the seething bit better than anyone (including a great turn in recent episodes in HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm), while Wilson's cocky yet laid back surfer dude persona is amazing as well.

The plot, which is inconsequential as it's just an excuse to throw a bunch of funny physical gags and costume bits together, involves the two uncovering a giant cocaine sale masterminded by a dealer played by Vince Vaughn, who is solid, and refreshingly not over the top ala some bad Mike Myers character you would have expected.

But "over the top" works well in the casting of Snoop Doggy Dogg (or Snoop Dogg, as he's become in his maturing years) as Huggy Bear.  Perhaps the only risky part of this film was replacing the incomparable Anthony Fargas, who played Huggy in the original series, which was akin to choosing a new B.A. Barracus from The A-Team or Kramer from Seinfeld.  From the similarities to his own name, to his natural ability to become one with pimpness, Snoop takes over the role and makes you forget anyone else ever played it.

The entire audience I saw it with was laughing throughout, and no matter how jaded you may be, you'll certainly find a bit or two that'll make you yuk it up out loud.

It's a shame that Wilson and Stiller work so well together in this film, and would hardly want to be typecast as "TV shows turned movie actors", because I would also love to see what kind of magic they could work on a Dukes of Hazzard film done with a similar angle.  

Which by the way, if you're searching for homoerotic illustrations of Starsky & Hutch, LOOK NO FURTHER!  Sometimes, the internet makes Baby Jesus cry

retroCRUSH Rating: 4 OUT OF 5 MARTINI GLASSES

DIG THESE VINTAGE EBONY ADS

Here's some great ads from an 80s Ebony magazine that our own retroRANDY dug up on one of his many thrift store journeys.  Can you dig it?  I knew you could!

I added a few more that I took from THE EXCITEMENT MACHINE's COLLECTION as well. If you like a lot of the catalogs and other crazy things like that we have on the site, you'll totally love what they've got going on!

THE WORST SEX SCENES EVER
A LOOK AT THE MOST UNSEXY SEX SCENES IN FILM

In the last 30 years, sex has become more and more prevalent in mainstream film.  No longer confined to the world of porn, many erotic sex scenes have found their way in to very successful Oscar caliber movies.  But this is a tribute to those hopelessly pathetic stumbling bad bits of eroticism that fail to turn even the most desperate individuals on.  Some of these try so hard to be erotic, but fail miserably, while others feature individuals with the chemistry of toothpaste and orange juice. 

So without further adieu, here we go...

YOUR FAVORITE SONG PART?

Sure, we all have favorite songs, but what's your favorite PART OF A SONG?  Maybe there's a tune that's just "OK" to you overall, but the intro, drum solo, closing vocal, etc... just does it for you like no other.  I'd love for you to email me at rberry@retrocrush.com and let me know to include in a feature.  Personally, my all time favorite is the closing fiery horn section in Midnight Oil's "Power and The Passion".  About 4 minutes and 40 seconds into the tune, this group of brass comes out of ground and close the song out in the final minute with screeches that sound like God is shouting at you.  It's probably the coolest ending to any song I've ever heard.  Anyway, lemme know what your choices are and let's put a really cool article together. 

 

retroRANDY's
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