MARCIA WALLACE
THE RETROCRUSH INTERVIEW

Interview by Randy Waage
randy@retrocrush.com

Marcia Wallace is best known as Carol in "The Bob Newhart Show", and for her Emmy winning role as Bart's Teacher Edna Krabappel in The Simpsons. She's also written a fascinating book called, "Don't look Back, We're Not Going That Way" way which gives new meaning to the word  "survivor".  We caught up with Marcia for a phone interview, and hope you like it.

You had a retroCRUSH on Roy Rogers as a kid?

I loved Roy Rogers. I first felt fire in my loins for Roy and I was a very small child which is kind of pathetic, but true. I loved Roy and I don’t to this day know why. I was madly in love with him. I grew up in the 1950’s and we watched a lot of Saturday westerns and Roy just spoke to me. He wasn’t known as one of the great sex symbols of the American cinema. He was a good guy and everything. I’m not ashamed of it.

I’m not the only one that ever had a rocky childhood. If parenting came with instructions things would be a lot better, but it doesn’t. It’s all part of what makes us who we are. I wrote a book called, Don’t look back we’re not going that way and it’s subtitled How I overcame a rocky childhood, a nervous breakdown, breast cancer, widowhood, fat, fire, and menopausal motherhood and still manage to count my lucky chickens. It’s out there for everybody. One of the good things about it is that so many people relate to so much or part of it. I mean I’m not the only one who ever lived that had a rocky relationship with their mother. It’s all about forgiveness and reconciliation.

I got a tremendous amount of my greatest quality tenacity. I certainly got that from my dad who was a larger than life man with no impulse control. He had big dreams and terrible luck.

That’s true. When your father walks into your fourth grade classroom and says, "Give me those shoes!" because I wore my mother’s shoes to school. The good thing is nothing much embarrasses you after that.

It’s more a story of a decade than a town. It was a decade of denial in many ways and nobody talked personal. I think that’s why I got on so many peoples' nerves. Its like, "Oh my gosh here she comes again and she’s going to want to talk personal."

I don’t blame myself for anything.

My dad oh yes. My sister and I would come home and he would smell our breath. We’d say, "We’re 9! We’re 10!" He’d respond, "Yea, well it’s in the blood."

My dad would leave town to drink. He once got lost which is my favorite story about my dad. He once got lost and he was on one of his benders in Chicago. When we finally found him he was in some hospital somewhere. The doctors pulled us over and said, "We’re afraid there’s been brain damage." And we rushed in and talked to him awhile. We came out and said, "Nope. That’s our Poke." He was a pretty whacky guy.

Fast Forward. I went to New York City for a decade and I did a lot of Merv Griffin shows. Then he brought me to LA and I did his talk show. Out of that I got a wonderful experience because Mr. Paley who was the head of CBS then found me on the Merv Griffin show. He said, "Put that girl on that new Bob Newhart show."

So around that time I had my nervous breakdown and what’s hilarious. This was 30 years ago. I mean I wrote about it and now today please if you have a nervous breakdown you’re on The View with the Olsen Twins. I did "The Insider" awhile back. That’s what they talked about. The 30 year old nervous breakdown and they showed these weird pictures of me. Sitcom actress fights demons in mental ward. All the teasers made it sound like I just started off to the bin again so I got these calls asking if I was alright.

During that time I didn’t make very good choices except for my darling husband. My love life was pretty whacky. I never made very good choices where men where concerned.

I’d think you’d know up front that a gay guy isn’t a good choice, but if you’re kind of needful. Somehow you figure, "Well, maybe this will work out."

It was a talk show. It was unlike Carson which was always on late at night. Merv was on after school, and early evening. Merv was on for 30 years. He discovered a lot of people too.

It wasn’t a lot of standup back in those days. It was more of these sit down and you’d come out and tell your crazy stories about your life. My first story was about when I worked at a Dairy Queen in Creston, Iowa. I got molested in the freezer changing the milk cans which was a true story. The guy had a heart condition so he had to keep stopping and wheezing. Everyone thought I made that up. It was a question of making a tragedy into a comedy and making it work for you. I was a personality and I did about 75 appearances. It was a very good gig and got me The Bob Newhart Show.

I met Bette Davis once. Merv use to do back to back shows. I was on one and she was on another. I was hanging around her dressing room hoping she’d walk out. Her hairdresser came out and said," You’d like to meet her?" and I said, "Oh yes." He whipped the door open and he said, "Ms. Bette Davis this is Ms. Fanny Flag." She said, "Well, that’s not Fanny Flag. I don’t know who it is, but it’s not Fanny Flag." I got to meet her.

I met John Wayne once and he said, "Can you get me an appointment with the doctor? Ha ha ha!" It was a thrill. First of all to realize that the people you grew up with in the movies are watching you on television. That’s almost impossible to wrap your head around.

Well, we just mainly had a really good gig. It was on during a time before cable. There were only three or four channels and everybody could only afford one TV. They watched as one group or a family. We’ll never see that again. There are a 172,000 channels none of which you want to watch.

It’s true. Newhart was on first run in the 1970s. Then in the '80s it was in reruns. It was a very big college show in the 1980’s. Then in the 1990s there was Nick at Night. There was that drinking game which Bob’s is not too proud of. He said, "I just love being associated with teenage alcoholism." Everybody was always saying, "Hi Bob. It’s for you Bob. Hello Bob." Whenever anybody said, "Bob" you were suppose to take a drink.

There’s a funny story about people having sex and saying hello.

I was walking down the street in New York City. It’s been cleaned up a bunch. It used to be much seedier. There was this couple standing way back in this alcove. This guy looked like Howdy Doody. He just couldn’t believe his good fortune. He saw me and said, "Love your work." I said, "I love yours."

He enjoyed that story very much. Newhart is a great guy. He has a great sense of humor.

He isn’t really. He has a persona. That’s what you see and that’s what works for him. Like most people in television.

He just decided that as much as he loved his four kids. He decided no kids and no animals. Now there’s a ton of family shows. That was pretty unusual in those days. They were just a couple with two careers and a marriage. You get upstaged by kids and dogs.

It was like a little neighborhood during those days. MTM was great and was very prestigious. They had great comedies and guest stars. They were extremely popular.

Yes, they did in those days. Now they’re thrilled if they get 11 or 12 million people. There were shows in those days that got 30 or 40 million people. Everything has changed.

I’m pretty honest. Food is my drug of choice. You can see my eating disorders across the screen. I go back to The Gameshow Network to visit my old arms because they were so beautiful.

I was. That’s what I mean. Those were my bulimic days. I finally evened out for awhile. Then my husband died and I gained a lot of weight. You can see me change across the screen. I can turn on the TV and see my self 30 years ago, 20 years ago, 10 years ago, or last week. It’s pretty whacky.

Brett Somers is my best friend. She’s coming out here soon. She’s my son’s Godmother. I have a son who says he wants to be an actor. So I said fine. Act like you like me. He’s very talented. He’s getting ready for college. I keep thinking I’m too old for this. The whole college process is just a lot of pressure on kids now.

I went to a college that doesn’t even exist anymore: Parsons College in Fairfield, Iowa and I’ve had a great career.

Yes, I have. She was in the back of the house having a martini with my dog Bingo. She was singing along with Frank Sinatra and having a martini. The alarm was going off and she kept saying, "Bingo, what’s that?" She walks out of the hallway and the flames are coming down the hall. Some of the old California houses didn’t have central air then. They had those floor heaters. She had turned it way up.

Let’s say if she hadn’t been visiting there probably wouldn’t have been a fire. We call her Mrs. O’Leary. She’s said, "Good. You needed it. Your house was a mess and I did you a favor!"

Mostly Brett, but I see Charles from time to time. He was very crazy.

I’ve had a good career. I just finished a movie yesterday called Cook Off. I played myself. I was the celebrity judge for a Midwestern cook off. There hasn’t exactly been a ground swell for my movie career. I always say Judi Dench is very jealous because my movies come out at noon and by 4 they’re in the video store. I have Ghoulies go to College. My favorite was never released, Space Sluts in the Slammer.

There’s a whole generation who came of age in the late 1980’s. I still get stopped by people who are 30. When they were kids they watched this movie. The very first cable movies ran again and again and again.

It’s funny what you’re known for. Some people see me as their first grade teacher, some people see me as Carol, and I’m Edna Krabbapel on "The Simpsons".

I was on a very famous Taxi episode called "The Schloogel Show". The Latka character and his wife Simka fixed up the Christopher Lloyd character Reverend Jim with me Marcia Wallace on the show. It was the second time I played myself. I played myself in that. That’s one of those famous classic TV episodes people remember. Everybody on it got their own series or did this and that. Nine years later the guy who wrote the Taxi episode created "The Simpsons". Sam Simon. So you never know. You just never want to give up.

I’m an action figure.

Sixteen years.

I’m a 20 year breast cancer survivor. I go around the country and speak about Breast Cancer awareness and early detection. You set out to be a Broadway Actress and you end up 30 years later as spokesperson for the Prune Growers of America.

There’s a whole Prune Underground out there. They were trying to make Prunes a young and happening fruit which I don’t think ever worked. Anyway, you have to keep re-inventing yourself and never give up. About 6% of all parts go to women over 40, but somebody’s got to be that 6%.

It was great and hilarious. They were going to do it no matter who won. It was going to be "Absolutely Al" if Al Gore won or "That’s My Bush" if Bush won. Then 9-11 pretty much killed the franchise. I wish in show business they’d bring things back. They never do because it cries out to be done again now.

---

You can visit Marcia's website at: www.marciawallace.com
You can also buy Marcia's book at her website or at Amazon.com.

You can listen to the complete interview here.
Special Thanks to Robin at A Clean Well-Lighted Place for Books for finding Marcia's book for me.