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XBOX 360 REVIEWED
I was lucky enough to get an XBOX 360 for Christmas. My
best friend hooked me up phat this year.
Smooth. Simple. Sexy.
I thoroughly enjoy the simpler controllers, a far cry from
the crazy multi-contraptional "joysticks" on the original XBOX. You know,
the ones that required T-bone sized hands to even grasp properly. Not this
time around though. The 360 has a feel that just about anyone can easily
get a hold of. Kudos to Bill Gates.
Classic wood grain. Reminds me of ma's
Station wagon
I'm also a big fan of the retro look they went for. The
wood grain reminds me of another groundbreaking system, though the name
escapes my aged mind. But rest assured, it was fun that ancient system.
The new 360 is even portable, requiring less than a KB of thought to plug
in and play (that was a computer joke for all you computer folks. LOL).
All in all, a great new system.
I only have a couple of complaints. What kind of review would this be if
all things were happy and bright? While the system itself comes complete
with 40 games (that's right, 40!! And believe you me, I was expecting to
pay at least fifty bucks per game), it didn't have any that I really
wanted. Like Halo. Or that Star Wars game the kids love. It did have Yar's
Revenge though, a sweet space action game where you play a pixel that eats
other pixels while making whirring noises. It kinda sounds like this
(CLICK HERE).
Another problem with the system is that, while labeled "E
for everyone", one of the enclosed games is entitled "Outlaw". In
"Outlaw", you play a highly rendered cowboy whose goal is to bust a square
cap in the other highly rendered cowboy across the screen. That's it.
Killing. Plain and simple.
 Now
I know I was the first to decry the evils of Grand Theft Auto because all
you do is steal and kill. And I wrote my Congressman the day I heard about
the Columbine shooting because I knew that Doom was responsible, but this
Outlaw game is far more debilitating to the young minds of America than
any of the aforementioned. There's no stealing! There's no walking around
to find your opponent. JUST SHOOTING AND KILLING! Please Mr. Gates, put an
M rating on your latest machine. Do it for the children.
E for Everyone? More like E for Explosive Entrails Exacerbate!
Aside from those little nitpicks, I found this product to be great. Much
better than the original XBOX, and well worth the three days my friend
spent in the rain trying to score one for me.
RATING: 9 out of 10
-Slacker
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