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NAUGHTY WEIRD AND WILD VINTAGE BOOK COVERS!

 

Oddly enough, xxxgaggle Maps doesn't have listings for either Gay or Queer Street, what gives? Before Designing Women and Golden Girls were on TV, you had to get your erotic lesbian fiction from books like these.
 

I love the subtitle for The Lesbian In Our Society, "A Problem That Must Be Faced!" Yes! If these hot lesbians are left unchecked, then The Indigo Girls will be able to buy all the good beachfront property!  They must be stopped! I love how in each of these lesbian themed covers there's some totally hot lady wearing a black bra and panties. I can't think of a joke for that, I just love it!
 

The racial barriers of sexual desire were tastefully explored in classics like Black Desire. I don't know much about The Blue Negro, but according to Carlos Mencia, "Black Negroes dance like this, but Blue Negroes dance like THIS!" The Hard-Boiled Virgin sounds like a pretty bizarre book, but it beat the original titles, Scrambled Virgins, and Frigid Omlette Whores. There really isn't any hussies like The Abortive Hussy, while The Stone of Chastity has to be one of the most bizarre forms of birth control ever.
 

I have no clue what A Mouse Is Born is about, but if the naked lady on the cover is any sign, my guess is that it's the explicit birth scene from Stuart Little. Babes and Sucklings is one of the more unintentionally funny titles in this bunch, and a perfect companion piece to The Sucker. Scientists discovered the shame element back in 1952, roughly a year after leading theologians came to the conclusion that God indeed wears a bowtie.
 

Did Seven Footprints to Satan foretell Dance Dance Revolution? Either way, Satan is apparently an ugly bald dude. I much prefer the depiction of Satan as a lesbian. I have no clue what The Fox Woman might be about but it looks like some sort of degenerate furry novel. I'm equally confused by FingerMan, but from the look on the lady's face, she's impressed by his powers.
 

Make Mine A Harlot spawned several sequels including I'll Take A Whore, Hooker Please, and Tramp du Jour. Likewise, The Prisoner Ate A Hearty Breakfast inspired follow ups like Jailhouse Fondue Party and 4th Meal For Lifers. You can certainly catch more flies with a Honey Pot Trap, than one that's been soaked in vinegar. Most folks will agree, the best type of virgin is an Impatient Virgin. While I'm including the swell cover for All About Girls...! because it features great art by none other that pin up artist legend, Bill Ward.
 

With a sensual title like Mosquitoes, you just can't miss! Mush, Hashish, and Blood is not only an exciting novel, but it's usually what I find on Ramada Inn bed sheets. Expense Account Sinners finally addressed the need to create erotica for folks who like to hide escort service fees into their meal per diem. I actually read He Kissed Her There, and when you get to the end, you find out, he actually gently pecks her there. The Peeper may be the world's first appearance of a cam-whore.
 

Rubber Dolly may be the inspiration for Real Dolls. Sexperiment features Re-Animator's Dr. Herbert West on the cover, while this pulp version of H.P. Lovecraft's The Lurking Fear looks more dorky than sinister. Matador of Shame looks like he has the coolest job in the world, and we close out with the "What the Hell?" titled Portrait of A Man with Red Hair.


I've had some of these covers on an old article from long long ago, but wanted to thank the fine folks at BOOKSCANS.com which feature an eye poppingly large collection with thousands more cool covers to browse through.

I also found these gems at a yard sale in Sacramento yesterday. Some really cool old dude had a dusty old box of paperbacks, and as you can see, he was quite the fan of the oft-overlooked slutty spy genre.

-Robert Berry
rberry@retrocrush.com

 

 

 

 

 

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