CLAUDIA CHRISTIAN'S A GEEK!

RETROCRUSH INTERVIEWS CLAUDIA CHRISTIAN

You loved her as Ivanova in Babylon 5, but did you know she's a self proclaimed Ren Faire geek, thinks William Shatner is an asshole, is very much a loner, and has a huge crush on Neil Diamond? Claudia talked with retroCRUSH about all this and more!  Read on, true believers!

Well, I wasn’t allowed to watch television. We were only allowed to watch Little House on the Prairie funnily enough after a few years I actually worked for Melissa Gilbert. She was my big hero when I was a kid. Little House on the Prairie and 60 Minutes were the only shows we were allowed so Monday nights and Sunday I got to watch television. The rest of the time I was a bookaholic. Basically, I read about 300 books a summer.

Yeah, I would do between two a day. I did a lot, but kid’s books are easy you can do 4 in a day, all the little Nancy Drew and Little House books and stuff.

Easy Bake oven definitely, Lite Brite, and Battleship...I was born in 1965 so by the time the 1970’s rolled around the games were lame. They were like Scrabble and Monopoly was a big one in my family. We played lots and lots of board games and Clue.

God no, I never got into anything. I didn’t even have a computer. Pac-Man was the only thing we had.

Ms. Pac-Man was the best. That was better. Definitely.

I do remember William Shatner trying to shove his tongue down my throat in his dressing room after eating Thai Food. That wasn’t very good. I was on T.J. Hooker yeah. He was a bit of an arse, but besides that.

Actually, he was already wearing the corset back then so I should have punched him in his stomach.

No, he behaved like such a butthead during this convention that I did, he was so awful and mean that at this point I make it my mission to say bad things about the man. I was never going to tell anyone that he tried to kiss me because he goes on TV and says, "I’ve been happily married for 35 years." Yeah, well he tried to boff every one of his co-stars. Why does he do conventions when he hates fans? Why does he do that? You have to pay $300 dollars to stand next to him and take a picture, but he despises the fans. He won’t even look at you. He won’t personalize anything so why does he do it? It’s horrible, horrible and the fans don’t like it either. I mean come on. He’s got plenty of money. There’s no reason for him to show up and make people feel embarrassed and awful about themselves.

Ok, we’ve established that William Shatner’s an asshole. Alright, next question and don’t bring up Steven Seagull, don’t bring up Michael Madsen, and don’t bring up any of the other people I’ve worked with. Let’s talk about something pleasant.

Actually, Sharon was always very nice to me. I didn’t have very many scenes with her. When I ran into her at an audition years and years ago before she became a huge star and she was very nice to me so I can’t say anything bad about Sharon Stone. She’s done a hell of a lot for AIDS and tons of charity stuff. Bless her.

I think one of the most interesting things that I ever did was the Columbo movie with Faye Dunaway playing my mother/is she my lover. My mother/my lover and Peter Falk directed in that. It was a crazy experience and really wonderful. I’ve had really good experiences. I was arguing with someone last night because they said, "Morgan Freeman demands a Mercedes to come to set." I said, "That’s no way because he’s the nicest man in the world. He’s so sweet. I just couldn’t believe that people suddenly get all these star attitudes."

I guess when you get more and more successful you demand. Who is it Bon Jovi or what band was it that said no green M&M’s in my thing. If I’m not there I’m not going to believe any story. That’s the thing about gossip. If I was standing in the room and somebody did something then I’d buy it. If I’m not in the room then I don’t buy it at all. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Exactly. I mean, they’re getting paid. There’s a director in town who has a "fun" clause, that if he’s not having fun he’s allowed to walk off the set. It’s a very famous director, but I’m not going to say his name. If he’s not having fun then he’s allowed to leave the set.

Well, considering how much it costs to make a production. Yeah.

They were actually built into the dress and the director kept the dress after the shoot. I don’t know what he does with it, but apparently my boobs are hanging above his bed that’s all I know. I understood for the character. She was a stripper and I weighed about 115 pounds back in that day so I was very thin and I didn’t have boobs.

Yeah, we needed boobs and they were good, fake boobs. This was in the early days of fake boobs. They were custom made by a special effects team. They were great. They were built into the dress and they had them built into the bra. They were sort of like implants feeling "siliconey" kind of things. They were way before chicken fillets. Now days all girls wear things in their bras that push up. We call them chicken fillets because they look like that.

Basically, men don’t know what they’re getting. If they go out to a bar and they look at some girl they’re so stupid that they think, "Oh she’s got a triple D." Take off the bra honey she’s got an A cup. That’s the naiveté of men. Oh, she’s got cleavage. Yeah, anyone can have cleavage honey. A 5 year old could have cleavage. Give them some chicken fillets and a stand up bra from Victoria’s Secret.

There’s a lot of sausage wearing by men I know that. I know that.

It still rocks actually. It really hasn’t become that dated. It’s funny.

Even the scene where the creature goes into your mouth.

Well, because it was so long ago the special effects weren’t really that keen. I worked with Stan Winston on A Gnome Named Gnorm. I’ve worked with some of the best guys in the business, but back in that day I was 20 when I did that film. That was pretty advanced. Now you look at it and go, "Oh, that’s kind of cheesy, but it was actually not cheesy at the time. It was pretty cool.

Didn’t they use that scenario in the Denzel Washington film in New York where the people brush by each other and the spirit goes into their body? It was sort of the same thing as The Hidden. It was an alien thing. I remember seeing the trailer and going, "Oh, that’s The Hidden."

It was by contact, which is the same as this alien. There are only 10 movies and they keep remaking them.

The male alien trapped in a stripper’s body. I love that.

I actually saw the director Adam Rifkin last night at a dinner party and it’s coming out on DVD next year. I did a lot of Adam Rifkin movies. I did Never on Tuesday, The Dark Backward, and The Chase with Charlie Sheen. That one was just a really bizarre film and I thought, "Yeah, I’ll be a part of it." I put on six inch heels and a blonde wig and once again fake prosthetic boobs to play Nurse Kitty. It was a funny experience. James Caan was quite interesting and fun to work with. He drove up in a big ole Harley, lots of energy. Nice guy.

Judd was great. I actually was in Cannes with Judd when he got into a little scooter accident when they were showing The Dark Backward. I did Never on Tuesday with him as well. They were all in that: Charlie, Emilio, Judd, Nick Cage. We had a roster of the Brat Pack at that age in Never on Tuesday. I played Tuesday, the lesbian photographer that gets caught in the desert with two guys. It was a really silly film, but it was fun.

The worst taboo, I’m very much against racism and sexism, misogynistic behavior, anything that sort of belittles people and picks on something unchangeable. Quite frankly it’s not very humane you know? Any behavior to me that is taboo is something that makes anybody else feel uncomfortable. As far as a naughty taboo I think as long as you’re both consenting adults, as long as you’re asking for it. I mean the ultimate Taboo would be the case in Germany where the fellow asked to be killed and then the guy killed and ate him.

You can’t really prey on vulnerable individuals and the internet has made that possible. To me it’s really rather disgusting that people take such advantage of people who potentially just are crying out for help. They’re not asking to be killed or maimed or whatever. There are people out there looking for those vulnerable, innocent beings.

Michael was wonderful.

I sure did. Are you kidding me? Logan’s Run was the one movie of the week I think as a kid I actually saw. He was lovely and he’s married to this wonderful photographer Pat York who is the first person I ever took my kit off for. She has this series of photographs of people, actors and everyone naked. She shot Jack Nicholson, Peter Ustinov, her plumber, her accountant, her architect, normal people and celebrities and all kinds of people.

They actually traveled around the world with this show. They showed at the Kremlin, all sorts of places, and when we were on location in Spiddal on the Connemara coast of Ireland she said, "Would you mind posing for one of my shots?" I said, "Ok" and the next thing you know I had a corset and a pair of boots on and nothing else. I was like, "Oh my God."

I’m still waiting for the copy of that picture. I know there’s one that’s out there. It was actually kind of liberating. You walk around with the Henry James pictures in the 1800’s. I had a fancy hairpiece on and I was holding a script walking through the Irish Moors.

It was like, "This is great" and then to think of it, it was quite funny because then all these real, hardcore, sort of Catholic Irish girls that worked on the set got into it. They went, "No, we want to do it too." This is great. I had some pictures. The experience was great. We all stayed in a big house and it was sort of like a commune. We shot in one of the most beautiful places in the world. The Connemara coast of Ireland is drop dead gorgeous. It looks a bit like the Cornish seaside in England. It’s beautiful.

To love? The big joke of the matter I said to Joe after season 2 that I didn’t want to be with the man of the week or whatever so give me a woman or give me G'Kar. I wanted an alien and I thought that Ivanova and G'Kar would be formidable together. Low and behold I got a woman instead. That was my penance. They were all so amazing. Every character in there, I feel so badly we’ve lost 3 people already, 4 actually from Babylon 5. It’s just amazing that all these wonderful actors have died. I must say that every single person that worked on that set was a lovely being and we’re still friends. We just had a big party because I’m in America. Pat Tallman threw a big barbeque for everyone. Walter Koenig was there.

God no, that place is horribly cheesy. No, I’m sure he’s a lovely man, but it’s very 1970’s. It’s very un-stylistic. Not only that I don’t want to live with anyone so why would I want to live with Hugh Hefner. I have my own mansions honey.

Intelligence definitely, a sense of humor, height is important because I’m tall. I don’t really look for anything. Once in awhile something comes along and you go, "Ooh, that’s cool." I’m very much a loner. I don’t need someone in my life to make me feel happy. My life is wonderful. I always call men "icing on the cake". The cake is great, it’s when I find somebody who I adore then that’s just icing on the cake. In the meantime I’m happy. You know.

I don’t need someone in my life to make me feel like I’m fulfilled or anything like that. It’s great when you find somebody you’re compatible with, but I’m really into the separate bedrooms. You live your life and I live mine. When we get together it’s fabulous, but I’m too old to adapt to somebody else’s ways.

I don’t want anyone snoring in my bed sorry. I’m so not into cuddling factor. I’m a guy. It’s like let’s get it over with. Let’s have fun and you go to your room great, fabulous. I’m just not into the "Oh, hold me bit." I’m so not a chick. I’m definitely a guy when it comes to the whole relationship thing. The busier you are, the more interesting you are to me. The more you’re off doing your thing and loving your job and loving your life that’s fascinating to me. The more you can teach me that’s fascinating to me. If you’re just a blob then why do I want you around?

Have your own interests and your own things and just be honest and straightforward. If you can come together then that’s great. If not there’s a whole lot of living to be done alone. Believe me. It’s great! People always say, "Why do you go to restaurants alone?" It’s because I love it. I love to talk to new people. I love to be alone. It’s great. I guess I’m anti-social. I don’t know.

There are a couple of people interested in showing it. We did make it a couple of years ago. Well, a year and a half ago, but it’s a great series. It’s got Jeremy Bulloch in it and all sorts of great people in it. Rachel Grant, and Susanne Braun. It was really well done. The CGI is fantastic and we did it on a shoestring budget. It’s now looking like it’s going to have a release soon. You can download the trailer on YouTube and Starhyke the website. It’s a British series. I’m the only Yank in the whole thing.

I can’t say because there are two people bidding on it right now. After that I did another comedy for BBC too which was called Broken News. That’s what I did after that. I have my first Babylon 5 novel coming out next year which I’m the first actor from the series to write a book about it. I was commissioned to write a story from Mongoose Publishing Company that does the Babylon 5 books about what Ivanova did after she left so it’s a fun novel.

It talks all about Marcus and everything. The fans will be pleased to hear that and I’ve been doing some other writing gigs. It’s great. I love it.

I’ve written all sorts of stuff it’s just now I’m finally published. You know that’s a big difference. You can say, "Oh yeah, I write a lot." But now I’m finally going to be a published author so that’s great.

Starhyke is actually…the CGI is far better than most British shows. I mean considering we didn’t have a budget of a Doctor Who or anything like that. It’s a comedy. It’s lighthearted. It’s not hardcore sci-fi, but the effects and everything are great.

No, all sci-fi fans come from the same one huge mother of sci-fi who gave birth to them all. They’re all the same. They’re all really nice and fantastic and supportive. You know what whenever someone says to me, "When you go to these signings isn’t it annoying?" It is so not annoying. I love them. I wish everyone was a sci-fi geek because then there would be no violence in the world. There’d be no wars. There’d only be people e-mailing each other going, "Did you see the last episode of Buffy?" It would be such a happy world if everyone was a sci-fi nerd. They’re respectful, they’re honorable. You can trust them. You can say, "Here’s a $1,000 dollars can you bring it to that person over there?" and they’ll say, "Yes, Ms. Christian." and its there.

I have more fun at sci-fi conventions than I think any actor in the world does because I love them. I love my fans. They’re so cool. They’re honorable, fun. They have a great time. They love themselves, they love their friends and they’re just great people. I don’t like when people put them down. They are so cool, but I’m a nerd too. I’m a Renaissance Faire geek. That’s what I did for fun. I went to Ren Faires. I’d dress up in costume and say, "Yes, me lordy." I’m a geek so I love it.

Exactly, now I can actually live my dream of walking on cobblestones and going, "Hey, this is the oldest Roman world in London." No one’s listening to me, but I do say that while I’m walking down the street.

Northern California was the first place to do it. They sold it to a golf course. Did you know that? They sold it to a golf course. Those buttheads that was the most beautiful Ren Faire I’ve ever been to. I went years in a row. I used to camp out in the Germans and the Scots camp. I always dressed in drag and went up there. It was fantastic.

I had to wear a mask the first few years of Babylon 5 was on because Ren Faire geeks are sci-fi geeks. Lot of Cat o' nine tails, lots of whipping wenches going, "Ooh". The Northern California one, that’s such a shame that ended because that was such a beautiful site.

I haven’t been to the new one. No. I haven’t been in eons.

I’m going to be spending four months starting in January here. I’m really happy with my voiceover agent. I’m looking forward to pilot season and good weather actually. From being a California girl, I mean I was raised in Connecticut, but moving to England was a shock. Come January I was just like, "Where’s the day?" There’s no light and there’s this gray dark, gloomy. No wonder Brits always say, "Why did you move here? You’re absolutely daft." Well, I moved here for the culture and this and that. I have to agree with them. It sucks weather wise. Once it comes to about December – January.

Well, I have been there for awhile. Yeah, it’s grown on me. When I was a child my mother has a very thick German accent. I always said, "Can you open the Vindow please?" It took me a long time to drop the German and the Irish.

I have a huge gay following because of Ivanova was kind of ambiguous sexuality. There was that little inkling in the second season with Talia Winters. I thought that she could have been having a relationship with her, but lesbians were definitely drawn to the Ivanova character. I think because she was the first Jew. She was the first Russian Jew. She was the first bisexual character.

She was strong and confident and good at her job. I think a lot of women grasped that and just like Xena fans are into that women in charge thing. It’s liberating I think. Ivanova was just a great character. Sci-fi quite often makes the woman the babe, the Jerry Ryan of the series wearing the tight suit with the boobs and the whole bit.

You’re either that or Sigourney Weaver played it perfectly in Galaxy Quest. She said, "I have one job and it’s repeating what the computer says." It’s true. Look at the 1960’s. How many girls were in charge? Were fighting? Died in the middle of a war? This was a character that really hadn’t been done before. She was a great character, gay or straight I think a lot of people grabbed onto Ivanova. Ivanova was a brilliantly written character.

Well, yeah Joe Straczynski is great.

Well, actually it’s funny when it went to DVD. I’ve noticed a lot of new fans. Twenty year olds are coming up to me and saying to me, "I love you in B5." I’m going, "How did you see it? It was on 10 years ago man." They say, "Oh no, my parents were fans and bought the DVD’s and I’ve watched every episode." I haven’t even watched every episode. I had to watch a lot of episodes in researching for the book. I certainly have never seen the entire series and these kids have. That’s amazing. It transcends time. It stands up apparently. The CGI was very impressive. They were still using models on Star Trek when were doing full on…

I do collect edge weapons and they’re all in storage unfortunately in Los Angeles. I have a huge book collection as well. I used to have a two story library. When I moved to England I had to downsize. I’ve collected everything from walking man to broad swords. I’m big into. That’s why I loved doing The Highlander. I was praying I’d get the spin off series, but I didn’t. Working with weapons and sword fighting is my love.

You’re going to take the piss out of me. I have a crush on Parker Stevenson from the Hardy Boys. Years later I actually worked with Shawn Cassidy on a movie. I’ve written two fan letters in my life. One was to Humphrey Bogart because my parents didn’t tell he was dead and one was to Parker Stevenson and he sent me back an 8 x 10. I had such a crush on him...I know he lives somewhere in LA. I’m so embarrassed. I was 12 years old and I loved Parker Stevenson. I thought he was just the grooviest boy in the whole wide world. Everyone else loved Shaun Cassidy, but I thought he was way too girly.

I know he’s set for life. I also liked Peter Frampton, but he was girly. I hate to say this…I had a huge crush on Neil Diamond.

No, I really…I thought Neil Diamond’s Hot August Nights. When I was a kid my mom used to listen to Neil Diamond and I thought his voice was the sexiest thing I ever heard in my life.

I know and I saw Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen him in concert in bell bottoms, sequined pants and I still love him. Okay. I still love Neil Diamond. I used to fantasize about being married to Neil Diamond when I was like 13 years old. I was like, "I’m going to be Neil Diamond’s wife." Now I’ve told you what a geek I am: Parker Stevenson, Neil Diamond. As a girl crush it was Kristy McNichol. It was like, "I want to be in all the movies of the week like her." What a geek Claudia Christian is. That will be the title of your show, "Claudia Christian’s a geek."

That was funny. I remember that. Yeah. He’s still groovy I think. He did Leonard Cohen better than Leonard Cohen did. "Stone to play…" I mean come on. Then he had to come out with "Heartlight" and that was so gay. I mean sorry "Turn on your heartlights…" that whole thing was just come on Neil man. I know you liked the movie, but that’s just wrong. You’re the guy that does sexy, cool songs.

It was lovely talking to you guys and yeah this was raw and un-edited. You caught me at a very un-professional moment, but God bless you.

Interview by Steve Graf (steve@retrocrush.com) and Randy Waage (randy@retrocrush.com)

Be sure to check out Claudia's Website at: www.claudiachristian.net

I recently watched Claudia in Hexed and it is a hilariously funny and well written comedy. If you've never seen it on cable do yourself a favor and rent or buy it on DVD. I also personally love the movies: The Hidden, and the The Dark Backward.