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THE TOP 10 GEORGE LUCAS SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

To celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Star Wars, George Lucas has planned a super great new announcement today that's sure to thrill and piss off his fans to no end. Our crack team of investigators (they're actually on crack) has found out 10 of his ideas and we want to share them with you. Which ones will actually make the cut? Trust your feelings and find out later today!

10. Howard The Duck prequel

9. Indiana Jones sequel to feature Jar Jar Binks cameo

8. New "Spank the Wookie" Game for The Nintendo Wii

7. James Earl Jones is the new voice of C3PO

6. New line of lightsaber shaped dildos

5. Jabba The Hutt footage inserted into Willow: The Special Edition

4. Yoda's dialogue to be redubbed to sound less like Miss Piggy

3. A Star Wars porn film titled "Han Shoots First"

2. Will have advanced medical procedure to give him a chin

1. Something that shits on your childhood

-Robert Berry
rberry@retrocrush.com