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UGLIEST DVD COVERS 

Though movie posters are often fantastic works of art, too often the DVD packaging results in some of the must hideous and bizarre examples of wretchedness the world has ever seen.  Here's some fairly recent DVDs that illustrate this point perfectly.

What an ugly color scheme for such a brilliant and beautiful movie. I know one of the movie posters used the same bile green motif, but the poster where the cast was having a picnic and drinking wine was far better than this one. You'd think with the wine theme they'd at least use a deep red or burgundy  to make it look more elegant. This color combination just makes me ill.  And could they please airbrush Paul Giamatti's teeth even more?  It looks like he's got a mouth full of Chiclets.

Here's the DVD cover for the direct to video Nomad (aka "Shit, I meant to rent 300 instead!").

FLY FASTER BEFORE THAT GIANT LEONARDO DICAPRIO HEAD
ZAPS US WITH HIS LASER EYES!!!

WHO THE FUCK TOOK OUR BODIES? Are these ladies so vain about how fat they might look that they don't even want their bodies to show up at all? I'm thinking of putting a giant ketchup stain in the middle so they'll look like the victims of a horrible sawmill tragedy.

The DVD on the left is the original release of Half-Baked, then you have the "Oh my God...David Chapelle is in this movie and and he's hella popular now, so let's put his face up front and shrink the other guys and put them way in the background" version.  At least we won't have to worry about an ugly DVD case for Season 3 of The Chapelle Show.

On the left, you have the movie poster version of Drumline, while the DVD version has to remind Blockbuster customers that it's still a "White Friendly" movie.

"Thisboy" from the Somethingawful.com forums pointed out that Helen Hunt and Laura Dern have the same goofy as look on their faces.  I wish I could see what was so great that they're looking at.  It certainly wasn't either of these films.

Is this cover for Donnie Darko, or Slim Goodbody: The Motion Picture?

What an ugly fucking mess. Everything is so slapped together, it's like a bad photoshop chain letter in the making. You get Kevin Smith's head peeking out at the corner laughing at the cast, and George Carlin looking up at him, the only guy that looks to be ashamed to be there (or maybe he's just rolling his eyes at the lame quote from Larry King). Jason Biggs face is airbrushed to the point that he looks like his face is made of pore-free rubber. Liv Tyler is looking at you personally as if she wants you to get her the fuck out of this awful movie, while Ben Affleck is just happy to be getting paid again. If the goal of this DVD cover is to set the tone for a super shitty movie...mission accomplished! Why even have Kevin Smith's face on it anyway? Anyone who even recognizes him is already going to know he directed this fiasco. It's not like the movies he makes are some benchmark of quality that realizing he directed it is going to make you check it out, anyway.

Got any more you'd like to see showcased?  Email me and I'll put 'em up!

-Robert Berry
rberry@retrocrush.com

 

 

 

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