I may have written this story a few years ago…I don’t remember. So if you’ve read it before, just shut up and read it again…it’s pretty good.

In the early 90’s there was a shoe company named Airwalk. They made skateboard shoes, for the most part. They also made these awesome suede desert boots, and I absolutely loved them. Aside from the fact that they were well made and I thought they looked cool, they were also extremely comfortable…something that I rarely find as a guy with flat feet.

After a few years and a few pairs, I was heartbroken to learn that they were no longer going to make them. I went out in search of every pair I could find in my size twelve. Sadly, I was only able to find two pair.

I wrote to the company…trying to find out if they had any extras laying around that I could purchase, but never received a response. Eventually, Al Gore invented the internet and I was able to send them emails. The years went by and my final two pair of boots were disintegrating, but I never stopped writing…with no response.

I would routinely check their web page to see if there was going to be a miracle, but the shoes that they still did make were so fucking ugly that I just got depressed. I gave up. I rationed my wearing of the final pair. Desperate to make them last, I only wore them for special occasions. In the meantime, I reverted to Vans. They were fine, but they were no badass suede desert boots.

About three years ago, I was still wearing what was left of that last pair. On a lark, I decided to check out Airwalk’s website and was astounded to see that they were bringing back the desert boot…but there was a catch.

Apparently, Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys also dug the desert boots, and in honor of him starting some film company or something, Airwalk was going to make a limited number of desert boots. The kicker – they were going to be given away to the guests of his party in New York. But there was hope! The webpage stated that there was a drawing with a chance to win an invitation.

My last grasp at the brass ring was immediately dashed when I read a little further and discovered that the drawing had already happened and that the party was actually taking place as I read this woeful news.

I was fucking irate! I wish I still had the original email I sent to Airwalk, but I can still remember the gist of my message: How fucking dare you?

I wrote the whole story of my love for the boots. The despair at no longer being able to find them, the dozens of inquiries I had made that were ignored…the fact that I offered to pay any price to have a pair made for me. I bemoaned their betrayal of a loyal customer and summed up with something very close to this:

“For years you have ignored me and my hard-earned money, but when some piece of shit rap douche millionaire wants shoes for himself and his hipster, loser fuck face friends, you can’t get his cock in your mouth fast enough. Go fuck yourself, Airwalk. I hope you all get your goddamn feet chopped off, you star-fucking ass lickers!

PS: I wear a size twelve.”

Two weeks later I came home to find a huge box on my front porch. It’s from Airwalk. Inside are two brand new pairs of badass suede desert boots…one tan pair, the other black, both size twelve. Also included – about twenty pair of socks, a couple of T shirts, two pairs of shorts, a gym bag and a bunch of stickers.

At the bottom of the box was a note:

“Hey Skid,

Your email has been shared with everyone at the Airwalk office…they loved it! The folks at Airwalk passed it along to me and we decided that it was so funny that you MUST have your beloved desert boots. We know you’ll enjoy them!

Best, Adam Yauch”