CHRISTINA AGUILLERA'S "DIRRTY" VIDEO
From Howard Stern's show, to SNL, Christina Aguilera's new video "Dirty" is the talk of the town. Clearly unable to match her arch rival Britney Spears as "America's Sweetheart", Aguilera has taken a 180 degree turn to try the "Whore of Babylon" crown on for size. I've never been much of a fan of her look or music, but I have to admit that it's hard to not watch this video without feeling just like the song's title.
The video starts out with a shot of Aguilera's ass with red panties pulled way up the crack. The "X" is a bit of a mystery, but word has it that it's either a map showing you where Redman's buried treasure is hidden, or a broken image link from Microsoft.
Aguilera proceeds to show off her ass again, while you see close-ups of her labria piercing. You'll notice in the shots below that not only does she seem proud of her little white ass, as she shakes it and shows it off non-stop, but she's actually wearing knee pads as well!
And just when you thought it couldn't get even nastier, check out these shots of Christina sucking down some water and spitting it out. It's about as erotic as watching a Dee Sniper bukkake video.
Then Christina gets gang-raped on the dance floor by 4 guys in the basement. Must be a slow night.
At this point, her partner Redman comes on the scene and starts rapping in front of what appears to be a scat movie, and some bizarre collection of furry fetishists. I can only imagine what the video's director David LaChapelle threw on the cutting room floor. This video's gone from being erotic, to some disturbing hallucination from The Shining.
At long last, the video is brought to a close as they dance on a floor that's about 2 inches deep in urine. This may be the best video with urine dancing in it of all time.
Aguilera's definitely raised the sexuality bar pretty high with her video for Dirty, and it'll be interesting to see if anyone tries to trump her. Let's just hope those rumors of Justin Timberlake filming a strap-on dildo dance sequence with a reunited Bel Biv DeVoe are just that.
I wrote this piece about 5 years ago, and damn if she didn't clean up nice since then, as evidenced by this "Ain't No Other Man" video below. All jokes aside, she's clearly one of the great vocalists working today.
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