#63 THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
FLYING MONKEYS!
Forget
The Wicked Witch, the real scary part of The Wizard of Oz were those
creepy ass Flying Monkeys! Nearly every kid who saw these things for
the first time was terrified. Monkeys are already the children of
Satan (See The King James Bible, CHEETAH 3:16), but when they have
wings, they are DOUBLE EVIL. Here's an interview we did 3 years ago
for our Top 100
Monsters feature.
Little
is known about these evil creatures from THE WIZARD OF OZ, but
let me tell you one thing. They're scarier than Hell! I was lucky
enough to interview NIKKO, the head Flying Monkey from the 1939
classic film and ask why they are so damn freaky.
RETROCRUSH: How exactly did the first Flying Monkey come to be?
NIKKO:
Either a monkey screwed a chicken, or a chicken screwed a monkey, we
haven't quite figured it out yet.
RETROCRUSH: Well why did you hang out with THE WICKED WITCH, what
did she ever do for you?
NIKKO:
Are you kidding? She's hot. She had a crazy thing for monkeys with
wings and we were more than willing to oblige. We worked for her in
exchange for hot free witch lovin'.
RETROCRUSH: Yikes, that's disgusting.
NIKKO:
Hey, who are you to judge? You're the one with the website full of
dead celebrities.
RETROCRUSH: Uhh...okay. So what do you think about being
#94 on the Top
100 Monsters list?
NIKKO:
Oh wow...big fucking honor. I'm a notch above MOTHRA and I'm more
popular than some monsters on cereal from THE FUCKING SEVENTIES.
RETROCRUSH: Well, it's not like you've had much work since that
first movie.
NIKKO:
Well that witch died so there's no much else for us to do, is there?
What about us? I was offered a part in that HBO series OZ, but it
involved a brutal shower rape scene that I wasn't really willing to
do.
RETROCRUSH: Well thanks for your interview, and congratulations for
making the list!
NIKKO: Whatever, I got to go find me a flying banana. Later.
-Robert Berry
rberry@retrocrush.com
