Mattel Shootin' Shell Gun

WOW! I totally love this old cap gun commercial. The ominous music and slow and deliberate loading of the gun make it look like an assassin is about to strike. And WOW...it even shoots projectile tips out, how crazy, unsafe, and COOL is that?

I was actually pretty happy to find a triple pack of good old fashioned red paper cap rolls at the neighborhood mini-mart's toy rack today. I used to spend lots of time just busting them with a rock on the sidewalk back in the day. I'll get some video of that to share soon!

Keith Lowell Jensen's comedy CD debut

It's a pleasure to be able to know Keith Lowell Jensen, see him grow as a comedian in the last 10 years, and objectively be able to listen to his debut comedy CD and genuinely laugh out loud throughout. Sometimes when friends give you shit to review, you're torn because you don't want to hurt their feelings but need to give your readers an honest opinion, too. Luckily I didn't have to worry with this one.

Recorded live at the very small Luna's Cafe in Sacramento, there's an intimacy in "To the Moon" that you rarely get with some of the more slick larger club or arena performances. I never bought in to the whole comedian as a rock star bullshit of Dane Cook, so it's refreshing to hear this work on a small scale. Luna's seats maybe 50 people tops.

The jokes are great and genuine. None of that lie-filled "crazy shit happened to me yesterday that never really happened" nonsense that I hate so much. Good observational humor that is a great blend of smart, wacky, and self-depreciating. With topics that include his continuation school experiences, being "hella gay at being straight", and Microsoft Vista jokes, this CD is unique. The best compliment that I can give is that Keith doesn't remind me of any other comedian.

Of course, what do you expect from a guy who's comedic alter-ego is a human fly?

You can visit his site, here, to see more and check out links to buy his CD.

GREEN MACHINE!

I was the perfect target age when Green Machine first came out in the '70s. For my 9th birthday, I had a choice to get either a bike or a Green Machine. This commercial certainly made Green Machine to be the sexier option. The sportscaster announcer, the energetic disco music, and those singers wailing away in the background made Green Machine look like the ultimate playground tail magnet. But the sensible side of me won over and knew that it would be cooler to have a real bike.

Weird that they picked "8, 9, years old" as a slogan for this, as that's about the age where boys were really too old to want a toy like that. Maybe it was so the 6 and 7 year olds that were better suited to it would think they were growing up quickly.

It's funny when you look at those moments in life where you were "too old" for a toy or something fun. Looking back now, I love all sorts of toys, but there are certainly those "growing up" moments where you put the toy back on the shelf and settle for something "more mature". I remember when the '80s smaller GI Joe line came out and buying a Snake Eyes action figure. He looked cool, but was pretty shoddy, and a pale descendant of the bigger more rugged Joes from my youth. This is about the same time that Transformers, He-Man, and the rest of the big '80s toys came out and I officially was no longer into "kid stuff". That is until I got older again. Nostalgia gives us all a chance to get that neat stuff again.

Adios, Dad!

One of the reasons I've been a bit slow keeping the site up to date is that both my father and grandmother have been in a pretty bad way. After many years of suffering from Alzheimer's disease, my father passed away, yesterday. A horrible way to go, but he's out of his misery now.

We certainly had our issues through time, but you all can thank him for exposing me to so many horror films, comic books, crazy TV, wrestling, toys, collectibles, and retro stuff to in no small part to make retroCRUSH the site it is today.

Oh the pain of waiting...

I know...I know. This is pretty underwhelming, but I am using my own limited programming skills to get some blog articles up here regularly until the database is fixed. More to come tonight!